Hello, warriors.

[Kj9681]

Just got back to MD after another vacay...this time with my family. I had lots of fun! Now I feel lonely, and angry. I’m not sure how many more times I’ll be able to walk away from my babies.

MS has changed my life so much, and nothing I planned in life has worked out.

I’m wondering what my “purpose driven life” is supposed to be. 🤷🏾‍♀️

Shucks...taking care of my girls is out. So, in Texas they remain.

*sigh*

[Jesmcd2 CommunityAmbassador]

Look how happy and healthy not to mention Beautiful you All look Kj9681 🤗 Did you have a good time on your Vaca? Where did you all go?

I think we all think that? What we had planned for ourselves, and where we are, isn't happening.

For me, it took Alot of Suck it ups! And wait! You still CAN DO THIS! And if I want it done, then I'm going to do it! I'm stubborn! 🙄

So Do What You Can! And be Proud of That!!! And build from there!🤗💕

J🌠❄️

[Kj9681 in reply to Jesmcd2]

Thanks, Jesmcd2! Encouragement is always needed. ❤️

So, after I picked the girls up in Tx, we went to Phx, and Cali. I was gone for about 2 weeks, and spend (at least) 4 nights in each (Tx, Az, Ca) state.

I was really special. This was the first time all 16 of us, my moms kids&grands, have gotten together since she passed.

We even spent a day at the beach where we blew her ashes away (😭😠).

I’m stubborn a well. I literally have to be on the ground, and hurt in order to, maybe, take a chill pill. Still, this mess is not easy. I’m starting to get angry! Ugh...

Thanks for reading. ❤️

[jimeka]

Beautiful girls kJ, they certainly look happy enough, blessings Jimeka 🦋

[Kj9681 in reply to jimeka]

Thank you.

[Kenu]

What beautiful girls you have 😁. Right there is something to be very proud of 👍. Maybe grandkids are in the future and that is a great reason to look forward 🙏. Do you have any family close to you to do things with or close friends or move closer to the girls? Well good luck and stay strong 👍. Again beautiful family 🙏😁. Ken 🐾

[Kj9681 in reply to Kenu]

Thank you, so much.

Well, although I’ve had MS for over 16 yrs, things began to change. Parenting got too difficult. I’m hoping to rehab, here in MD, and get a small apartment near them at the end of next summer.

As crazy as I feel saying it, I just no longer want to manage all that comes with running a home.

I have a close friend here, I’m actually living in her basement.

All our things are in storage.

I awaiting direction from God, because I don’t know!

I feel lost! Yuck!

[carolek572 CommunityAmbassador in reply to Kj9681]

Kj9681 It's me again. I just read this reply and the what you said about 'no longer wanting to manage all that comes with running a home'. I too, can no longer manage my home properly, and am struggling to keep up with its maintenance. Perhaps I will be living in my friends' basement someday. Just need to find a 'friend' with a basement! Don't despair, things have a way of working out.

Stay Strong,

Carole

[Kj9681 in reply to carolek572]

I believe that. I also understand how blessed I am to have the support I need to “pause”.

[carolek572 CommunityAmbassador in reply to Kj9681]

Amen

[Kenu in reply to Kj9681]

I can understand what you mean. Taking care of a house by yourself is just tough to do 😐. A nice apartment on the ground floor with no upkeep of yard sounds great 👍. A year will go by quickly and I hope you will be able to move closer to your kids 🙏. Stay strong 👍😊🙏. Ken 🐾

[Kj9681 in reply to Kenu]

I’m hoping the same. Thank you!

[RoseySawyer]

Stay strong! ❤🌷

[Kj9681 in reply to RoseySawyer]

Thank you.

[carolek572 CommunityAmbassador]

Kj9681 Thank you for sharing you wonderful photo of yourself and your daughters. You are blessed. Yes, it is hard to say 'see you later' and not have them close by so that you can visit them, and it is sad/mad that you cannot. I know, I have two daughters, and my circumstance is that they have flown the 'nest'. I get upset that I don't have them physically in my daily life, but I reach out in other ways ~ I call them, and because one has an Apple product and I do, I can FaceTime with her. Do you have that? While your recent vacation is now a memory, plan to make many more memories with your daughters. I know that it is not easy, and I hope that my babbling on makes sense to you.

Keep Smiling and Stay Strong,

Carole

[Kj9681 in reply to carolek572]

Carolek572, it makes a lot of sense. Thanks for your ideas, and encouragement.

Life, right? I’m going to take them abroad in ‘19...

[carolek572 CommunityAmbassador in reply to Kj9681]

There you go, and keep smiling, my friend

[greaterexp]

I understand your pain at not being with family. My kids and grandkids are 2000 miles away, and it breaks my heart. That being said, if someone had told me where I'd be now and what I would do with my life, I never would have pictured the path as it unfolded. God led me through so much! The wonderful side of it is what God did with it all and I love thinking about the enormous blessings I've had in spite of the painful parts. I thought the end of my first marriage would kill me, but now I'm married to Mr. Fabulous. I have MS, but am amazed at what I can still do. The list goes on and on!

I pray that God strengthens you and shows you wonderful blessings. I hope you get to see more of your beautiful children, too.

[Kj9681 in reply to greaterexp]

Thank you. ❤️

[ssdw1958]

I know it’s easy to say but you have to go living your life and think positive. But I have to let you know I think about that also your not alone in that department

[Kj9681 in reply to ssdw1958]

I wonder if l ever stop mourning...

[mrsmike9]

What a lovely set of ladies! I can see how you would miss their smiles...