My MSAA Community

How to get your family understand you STILL make your own choices (when still able)

My dad who is normally quiet on most issues just called me (he doesn’t normally talk on the phone) & completely flipped out on me for not having my broken toe looked at (yes-my big toe on my “better” side). He blamed it on my husband & girls’ busy lives but it was 500% my decision to not go in. Any advice on how to deal with the transition from supportive family to the complete opposite?

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I think maybe dad is being a father and is just concerned about his little girl. How wonderful! So make sure he is actually over reacting and ask yourself why he feels he needs to? Does your father live close? If he does maybe you could make it a father daughter experience with a nice lunch. If he doesn't live close explain why you don't feel the need to go in or you can bite the bullet and just go in for him. I'm sure you don't feel it right now but at some point you will look back and wish your father was around to be a pain. I would give anything for my mom to be a pain in my butte for me. Xxoo


I am the youngest & my parents are in Florida - our entire family lives in MN/WI. We were together during Xmas - I thing maybe both my parents are having a hard time with the obvious changes.


What changes?


Mainly cognitive.


Hi kris1973! I'm a very independent person but my family, including my daughter, worry about me all the time and I can be bombarded with unnecessary advice. I appreciate the support and the loving intention behind it but often don't need or want the unsolicited opinions. What works for me is to listen to whatever is being said, and say a lot of 'uh huh's' and do what feels best to me regardless. I have a close relationship with my daughter that when she gets too pushy about what she thinks I should do, I remind her somewhat jokingly that she isn't the boss of me.


Here are the main things I take away from the conversation:

1. We had the “you don’t share/you don’t ask” conversation in the fall. I have been careful since then on what I shared to not add more worrying for them...which obviously didn’t work.

2. That bc of my diagnosis life should HALT for my husband & girls and that bc they continue to do things - they don’t care about me.

3. By my husband going to the dr. (he does road construction & is injury prone) - he is putting himself ahead of me & not providing for our family.

I have alway been very independent and will continue to do for as long as I can.

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kris1973 I have this same issue but with my in laws! It is incredibly frustrating! However, I have to remind myself that in their miss they are trying to help someone they love. Also, that I just can not stand being told what to do or how I should do it and get super defensive about MS and my Diabetes. So, I guess it's a 2 way street. That is the best way I handle it. I remember I am defensive, they are pushy and oil and water don't mix so we often agree to disagree and to smile and nod and say ok. But man! sometimes I want to squeeeeeze their heads! :) HA!

Hope this helps!


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