I thought I was doing great!

[cassielynn71]

Hello everyone. I don't write often, I'm more of a voyeur here. Soaking in as much as I can. So last month I had one of those psycho-neuro test things done. I finished an hour and a half EARLY! So I was thankful that I'm not as bad as I thought, cognitively speaking. I had my follow up with my neuro last wk. At which point I had an anxiety attack. It started fine (the appt). I listed all the new petty symptoms that are piling up. I'm on Copaxone for just over a yr. She was concerned. Then as she's reading the results of my psych appt aloud, I was stunned. I did horrible. All noted "as expected for MS". I think that's when the anxiety hit. Intention tremors, uncontrollable figiting, rambling, tears, nervous joking, feeling a total loss of control. It was unsettling to say the least.

In the end she lowered my Amitriptyline and prescribed me prozac. By Monday this wk I was taken by surprise at the LACK of feeling badly. I actually felt good. Yaaay! That lasted until abt noon today. Out of the blue I felt heavy, fatigued, eye pain and the beginning of what I'm hoping isn't the normal 2-6 wk headache.

I feel feel jipped and angry. I WAS THERE! I felt GOOD! It had been longer than I can remember since I felt so normal.

So there it is. Had to vent to someone.....this might be why I don't write often...it's not a very positive message to put out.

[Fattius]

It's fine! We will listen and vent with you cuz docs dont get it or care from my experience!

[melack01]

cassielynn71 In April I had a psycho-neurological exam. I thought I did pretty good. With memory I was at the top of the scale, processing skills were at the bottom. Now I'm just not sure of myself. I guess we shouldn't let the tests get us down. But sometimes it's hard not to. I was always the smart kid and now I'm not sure who I am a lot of the time.

[cassielynn71 in reply to melack01]

Exactly melack01 I ran crews of 15-30 guys doing submarine overhauls 8 yrs ago. Now I get lost typing a single sentence & have resorted to keeping very specific "to do" notes at work. I used to be proud of my accomplishments. Sigh......

[WAshingtongirl]

cassielynn71 , I can understand your disappointment and frustration. I'd feel the same way. Did your doctor say anything about giving the change in drugs some time to level out? Praying you feel better soon. But we're always here to listen. If you continue to feel worse, let your doctor know. 💕

[cassielynn71 in reply to WAshingtongirl]

No, she never mentioned a specific time frame, that I remember (btw, I love auto correct at times) but I go bk in October. My mri's are monday. So I guess that's probably why she scheduled the follow up in October. To give the meds some time.

[Royjr]

Venting is the best medicine sometimes😀

[jimeka]

cassielynn71 never, ever feel as though you can't vent on here. We of all people know and understand, so vent as much as you want. You will feel better for getting it off your chest. Take care, blessings Jimeka 🦋 🌈 🤗

[redman44]

its fine who else gonna understand if we don't. gotta go with the flow I have days like that but the bad days I lay around and wait for the good days

[Morllyn]

cassielynn71 , every message does not need to be positive, we all know that MS sucks and sometimes you just have to vent!

[Doubled51 in reply to Morllyn]

Amen to that Morllyn. If we don't vent we'll just explode.

[cassielynn71 in reply to Morllyn]

Morllyn I am a very silly, happy, upbeat person normally. My friends say I make them laugh and we have so much fun when we're together. It's only when I have time aloe that I can acknowledge just how crappy I feel. And generally I'm asleep before long and I don't vent. And I'm okay with that. This last neuro visit was so embarrassing. And I still feel like I was maybe misdiagnosed. I'm not in a wheel chair. I don't have foot drop. Or even a limp. I havent gone blind or completely numb. (My skin has has the cold wet blanket numbness but not complete & total numbness.) I feel I would be worse. That being said, I fear being told I don't have MS. Because then I'd be in the dark again with no diagnosis. I struggle with accepting the diagnosis AND also worrying about losing the diagnosis. I am a mess, lol.

[CalfeeChick CommunityAmbassador]

I'm sorry you are going through all of that cassielynn71. Just wondering, do you think much of those symptoms were caused by stress at the doctors office? Now you're feeling better because it has eased off of you. Stress easily can knock me off my feet for days. Keep on being your happy 😊 self. Let us hear from you. Lynn aka Calfeechick

[cassielynn71 in reply to CalfeeChick]

Oh yes, absolutely the anxiety attack and tremors wereally most definitely the stress of hearing that this is more real than I thought.

[dianekjs]

cassielynn71 , I haven't had to deal with what you describe yet, but it sounds extremely frustrating and even frightening. I just wanted to offer my support and tell you that my heart goes out to you. I hope that your symptoms calm and you start to feel better soon.

[greaterexp]

cassielynn71 , what a rough time you've had. I'm sorry. The roller coaster of MS is so unpredictable. I do hope that your new med will level out the emotional ups and downs for you. I know antidepressants can take awhile to be effective, but I'm grateful there are several choices available, so if one doesn't do the trick, there will be another one to try.

Let us know how you're doing and how you progress.

[erash]

cassielynn71

It's amazing how the smallest things can affect MS symptoms. Sometimes it feels like MS is like the weather, can't predict it very well and constantly changing. Hang in there and hopefully it will be sunny again soon 🌤

[SlmHarris]

It's perfectly ok to vent! We are here to listen.

I remember taking the test like you and I left in tears. I felt dumb. However it let me know my challenges and were I needed to focus in to better thing.

I try very hard to see things as a learning curve. A challenge.

Try not to be hard on yourself.

Try to find the positive. Go with it!

We all have to fight fight fight!

Best of luck

[cassielynn71]

Thank you all for the support and kind words. I have friends and family that are supportive and still somehow feel misunderstood or alone.

I see ads on FB for MS t-shirts and some of them are funny but really say how I'm feeling and thinking. So I know every one of us goes through the same thing mentally, emotionally, & physically at one time or another.

[shamrock12]

Venting is so much needed and if no one is around I find that our pet is always there and tho she can't speak she know that she understands. Guess about the only thing for sure is that M.S. won't let us feel good for too long or then it reminds us its close by. Peace ❤️

[dogdaddy]

No way I would ever take prozac....or any drug for depression!

[kdali]

It stinks to hear you’ve done worse, or maybe even hearing the label of MS aloud was icing on the shock cake for you. Feeling normal again is quite the gift, congrats! Sorry it hasn’t stuck.