My MSAA Community
3,217 members5,893 posts

What I asked for Valentine's Day....... What represents true love for you?

Do you need gold and diamonds or flowers and candy for Valentine's Day? Men speak up, what is it that your heart desires for Valentine's Day? As you become the besieged by a monster like MS have your needs in your relationship changed? I know mine have.

Due to my destroyed right rotor cuff and having liver surgery in November 2015 I have taken to sleeping in a big comfortable zero gravity recliner. It helps and help my shoulder tremendously. Also due to my MS and the problems it causes for intimate relationships, i found it was easier for me two use not sleeping with my husband as an excuse. It seemed easier than bothering and he doesn't put much effort into being creative either if those of us with MS understand.

So for Valentine's Day I sent my husband a list I had given him. To start with we have an older Memory Foam bed and it retains Heat and it drives me nuts because I feel like I'm roasting in an oven within about 2 to 3 hours after falling to sleep. We also have the king size adjustable bed that requires split sheets for half the bed. Here's my list.

1. Split king size sheets that you can purchase off the internet and you get two wonderful hotel quality sets for about $100. Kind of pricey I know, but it will be something we can use for one to two years.

2. I'm purchasing the foam mattress topper that will reduce the body heat my body collects on my side of the bed.

Nothing else is monetary, but it is priceless to me. For those of you with spouses, partners, or significant others who automatically gives you the love, support, and care you require without you asking for any, you need to realize how blessed you are and hug them and tell them you love them everyday. Mine did not grow up in a family that showed affection, at all. So it's extremely hard for him but as many of us know being in a relationship or being married is something you must work at every single day. So having said that here's the rest of my list.

3. Call me every single day at lunch check on the in make sure that the day is going okay and I don't need anything. Regardless of whether you're working out of state or working close by.

4. Give me a real hug every morning before you leave, when you get home, and then before we go to bed.

5. Spend a bit of time with me in the evening on the couch so we can talk more intimately and touch each other a bit.

6. Tell me at least three times a week two things; that you like something I am wearing or give me a compliment. And tell me at least three times weekly that you love me.

7. And my promise to you is that by March 1st if we work on our list I'll be back in our bed and we can try to get creative about our intimate relationships again.

Keep in mind here there is no right or wrong answers here and everybody needs are different. By sharing perhaps we can spark each others imagination. Valentine Day is still a week away and let us not allow this monster to steal away our joy in this beautiful holiday for lovers. We are still whole people with needs and we cannot afford to let this Beast destroy any part of that Joy. Believe me I realize, firsthand, how easy it is to say and do nothing and let a big portion of my joy in life simply slip away . What a terrible waste.... I've decided to make it stop here and now! How about you, what is your Valentine truest heart desires?💘💋💋💘

5 Replies

In many ways, every day is Valentine's Day with my husband. But Mark isn't very romantic. Our first V Day while we were dating, he gave me a beautiful backpack ---I did need one but....

Anybody ever read The 5 Love Languages? Helped me understand that we each have different preferences of giving/receiving love.



Fancy1959 what a great post! And l wish you and you husband all the best.💕

My guy is not a vocal romantic. We have been together for 5 yrs, and l can count on 1 hand how many times he's told me he loves me. His word is "Yup" 😅 l ask or tell him love me? Yup! 😅💕. He does things to make my life easier, shower bar. Shower seat, when he left for work last time. And he cooks dinner ☺ cause he knows nights Arnt good for me.

We really don't do Valentine's day. I get him a card and candy, and l get the candy😅


It saddens me to see TV commercials making guys feel as though their wife will divorce them or be angry unless they buy them some expensive gift. (Another reason I watch very little) My husband tries to find inexpensive flowers, though I always tell them not to. It took him a few years to realize I couldn't care less about material things. And if we celebrate the holiday, shouldn't it be two-sided, too? We've gotten in the habit of cooking a nice meal together at home. That's expensive enough! It's the ways we show we love each other all year that count to me.


So, my husband's birthday is Valentines day. Part of me loves it as he is so sweet and romantic, the day fits him. Part of me feels bad that he gets me something on his birthday. However, he won't hear of not doing it. This year he will be 60 and I'm throwing him a party. Besides our 9 kids and 7 grandkids, I have invited a few people as a surprise.


We have been married for 50 years and every day could be Valentine's Day at our house. My husband grew up with a single mother who was blonde, petite, pretty with a European accent. She never married again, but had many boyfriends and suitors and this is how he learned how to treat a woman! I never know what to expect - my favorite lifesavers in my coat pocket, flowers delivered for no reason, a new Hurry Cane in the mail, a bag of Bing cherries when they first come in season, a new Sony Reader which allowed me to enlarge the font, and the list goes on. All of my friends and family say I'm spoiled, but my husband says I am very much loved!


You may also like...