Help me rationalise something that just upset me

[PinetownTree]

Hi everyone,

I've been out of work for several weeks following colon surgery. I've got severe OCD involving contaminations, not necessarily dirt or germs but various objects or the majority of people I don't like touching me or my things.

It's especially difficult for me because once something is touched, usually it cannot be cleansed, done is done, so the item has to sometimes be discarded. That's been very upsetting for me if I liked the item or it was sentimental.

My car's one of those things, it's very sentimental to me because it was my first new car, my parents went with me, big event for me in 2018, just finished paying it off in the last two weeks...kept having intrusive thoughts something or someone was going to touch it recently.

The other night one of my coworkers stopped by my house, they left something on the windshield of my car wishing me well. While it's someone I like working with, I don't like people touching me but especially my car, only mechanics because they have to...while it was super nice, it's one of the worst case fears for me.

I panicked cause it's one of my biggest fears, I've spent years being cautious to not park close to others or not tell people which car is mine so they don't touch it.

What's worse is the guilt because they went out of their way to wish me well, to give me something nice, but the torment of touching my car upset me so much, I started crying profusely because of the effort I've put in these past few years to "protect" it from contaminations.

So here's my question, there's lots of pollen here, lots of dust from trees getting cut down on my street, lots of water spots from yard-sprinklers, lots of streaks from cleaners on my windshield....so I've tried to tell myself, they didn't touch my car, they touched the buildup of things on my windshield.

That's possible right? It's the only thing I've thought of to help me not completely be tormented by OCD thoughts.

Does someone here know science enough to help me get over this? Please, if you know & thanks

[Sallyskins]

Don't discard! As someone that really hates waste, I urge you to deal with this!

There are ways to overcome this. For a start, focus on the nice gesture of your colleague in leaving something on your windshield. Take a moment to say thanks, not just to your colleague directly, but internally. Just allowing your heart to open up and appreciate the kind gesture feels good in itself and may dispel your OCD feelings about you or your things being touched.

Try to avoid rationalizing it. Of course it's possible that in leaving something on you car windshield they didn't actually touch your car. But supposing they did, what of it?

Try questioning why it upsets you so much to be touched or for your things to be touched. Contamination is a factor in many OCD cases, but it's impossible to avoid using things that other people have touched. If it's germs you're worried about, each one of us has billions of bacteria on our skin and in our gut and it rarely does any harm - in fact, it's mostly beneficial.

Try to expose yourself gradually to touching things others have touched, or letting other people touch your things. And start with your car.

Enjoyment and pleasure can be a big incentive. I avoided shops and town centres for quite a while when I was younger - nothing to do with germs, it was just a completely irrational OCD thing. But I missed being able to go into shops and choose things to buy, and worked myself up into going back into the town centre and going into shops. I thought of the enjoyment I'd get from choosing - and this was strong enough for me to start dipping my toe, as it were, into doing the ordinary things that I missed. And it worked.

So think in positive terms the sentimental and other pleasures you get from your car. Think of the kindness of your colleague and appreciate their thoughtfulness. Think how you'd feel if you didn't have these things in your life. And get back in your car and enjoy it.

[Nomorejoy]

look into exposure therapy. What you just described is essentially giving your OCD what it wants or rationalizing with it. It will slowly imprison you more and more. You CAN live beside it without it dictating your life, exposure therapy is the key. Go to iocdf.org/ocd-finding-help/... to find a therapist trained in exposure therapy.

[PinetownTree]

I'm trying to get over it using tools from my OCD book or therapist, understanding that something done in kindness supercedes my discomfort of me or my things getting touched. It's incredibly difficult for me because of how sentimental my car is, say over some other possession...something like this is so difficult that my level of progress isn't there yet to easily work past it.

[Hidden]

Cars are out in the world. You can't keep them safe in a drawer at home. I agree with the commenters suggesting exposure therapy. You can start slowly, just reading or listening to a scenario you write about someone touching your car. Do it a few times a day over and over until your anxiety eases. Then make the scenario more stressful--maybe someone licks your car or someone throws mud on your car. This will work if you can keep at it Goid luck!! You can do this.