Intrusive thoughts and real events

[Ms-Squib]

Dear others with OCD,

I'm a forty-something-year-old woman from a non-English speaking country in Europe and I have had episodes of OCD / "pure O" since my early childhood. The good and encouraging thing I can share with you is that I have been able to overcome a lot that has been worrying me for years. Things that used to trouble me terribly in my youth seem like totally harmless today.

However, there is one OCD topic that I find very hard to conquer, and that's the fear that I could involuntarily inflict harm on others by my thoughts, especially when these thoughts occur in certain situations or in connection with certain objects (I might be scared that I have somehow "contaminated" an object by a thought, that the thought has somehow become stuck and can't be undone).

I wonder if any of you has had similar fears and if so, how have you been able to overcome them? Has it ever happened to you that you felt there might be a connection between something you thought and a real event? If so, how have you been able to deal with this experience, was there something that helped you believe that it was just a coincidence and that the event would have occurred anyway and was completely unrelated to your thoughts?

Thank you so much in advance for sharing your experience with me! I'm happy to help on my part if I can.

[sligoguy]

Hi it's not really that unusual ,when you think of it,people do certain things to negate the chance of something unpleasant or bad happening , which is not gonna change any thing ,,,like touching the door frame or greeting mr magpie ,non of these things will have an impact on any situation or outcome so thinking something ain't gonna make it realise happen it's a classic ocd thing , the compulsion is to make it right by unthinking it or some other waste of time ,,,just like the symmetry ocd where things have to be equal or in line or as some would say ,,just right ,,,the way to beat it is don't play it's game ,,,yep easier said than done ,but keep trying ,and you can conquer it

[Ms-Squib in reply to sligoguy]

Thank you, sligoguy! You're right. Thanks so much for encouraging me. By the way, if your name says anything about your whereabouts, that's a lovely place! All the best.

[OCDneedshelp]

Ms Squib

Sure I have those thoughts or ones like them. One of my obsessions is about things that I have done or that I fear I have that done that would harm people. But again these are just thoughts and fears they are not real. Learning to confront those fears and thoughts is the best way to overcome them. You don’t nessecarily need to defeat them, just learn to accept them as thoughts and not give them power over you via anxiety or the feeling of constantly needing to over come them. A good therapist who understands ocd can help you greatly with this or there are books about it. I know you said that you come from a nonenglish speaking country so I don’t know specific resources to suggest but I am sure you can find some. Good luck and I hope you find peace.

[Ms-Squib in reply to OCDneedshelp]

Thanks so much for your reply! I would be happy to know about the books that you would recommend, as I have no problems reading English at all. As a matter of fact, reading such books has helped me a great deal in understanding my OCD and let go of many of the issues that used to trouble me as a young woman. My impression is that there are far more helpful ressources in English than in German, which is my mother tongue. I have seen several therapists in the past, but unfortunately, none of them has been an OCD specialist, so their ability to help me was limited, even if I have certainly learned something from everyone.

[NWOntario]

The nice thing about OCD is that the various themes all respond to the exact same therapy: ERP. Have you ever done ERP? If not, it's something you might want to investigate. If you have, your therapist can help you develop exposures for this theme. Good luck!

[Ms-Squib in reply to NWOntario]

Thanks so much for your reply and good wishes! I have read a lot about ERP and have applied these methods in many situations by myself. And I can say that yes, it's very effective. Unfortunately, none of the therapists I've seen has ever worked with ERP, and I haven't found any therapist around here yet who does. But I keep looking, as I think the support of a professional would help me a lot to be more consistent in my approach to the thoughts and situations that scare me and manage my anxiety better.

[NWOntario in reply to Ms-Squib]

Ideally, you'd work with a professional - but if you can't find a therapist who practices ERP, there are a tonne of great resources to get you started on your own. For some reason, many were written by men named Jonathan...here's one:

amazon.ca/Freedom-Obsessive...

Here's another:

amazon.ca/Getting-Over-OCD-...

OCD treatment's tricky: you want to ensure you're working with an expert, because some treatment techniques can actually have an adverse effect on OCD sufferers (psychodynamics, for example). You've also got the benefit of a great, big community of fellow travellers to help you along.