Frustrated, defeated and not sure what to do.

[Naturelover5]

I am so close to graduating from college but I may not pass 2 classes. I have a C or C- and can only go to office hours once a week and it doesn't seem to help. I feel like I am not smart enough and a failure. Plus I work a part time job around 17 hours on the weekends. Only allowing 2 full days a week to do homework and basically no time to myself. I am overwhelmed and stretching myself thin. Any advise? I am not sure how to even fix this situation?!

[ncrbrts]

If you have a diagnosis of anything which may affect your studies, please visit the Inclusive Learning/ Disability Service on your campus for support. I an studying a masters, work 19 hours and I'm a single parent. I also receive support from my university's disability service as I have ASD and my mentor is very helpful in organising my week's schedule and talking over non academic things I find difficult (anxiety and social nonsense usually). As a result, I am heading for a distinction which potentially could not have happened without support.

[Hidden]

Sorry you seem to be living a complicated life. I do understand that students need too work to gain a little bit more money to chase their dream. The problem you have, many have is you also need time to do homework, study, and relax. It is also important you have time to have a night out or take on some form of activity you enjoy.

I remember when I was at college I used to become stale and if that was not addressed it made me less efficient. I used to work through summer holidays selling carpets and furniture it was hard work and I was still about seventeen. I still had to study and was also at Uni taking Youth and Community Courses when the College closed for the summer break, although in a way it was my main interest, more than electronics.

All I can advise is medications will take away that vital edge and concentration we need to pass and take our qualifications. So drugs can really be a bad idea. I know from my experience I took Vallume for two years and I was unable to perform, My courses were all Science and eventually I had to leave and take qualifications at work, That became a chore and it took longer to make my mark.

You have choices, You could try Mindfulness Relaxation Technique that might help.

BOB

[Hidden]

The fortunate thing about college is A,B, or C, it's a pass and your degree is still given to you. They can't label it, "Graduated, but totally had a C-." You sound very overwhelmed which is the case of many poor souls in college. I was when I was in school....and it was hard. In high school I had very high grades and then I was getting "incomplete", dropping, or flunking because I had almost no time to juggle relationships, school, work, and so on. There's really no solid solution to this other than to simplify and possibly reduce.

I would first talk to your professors and see if there is any leeway with your work. Let them know you're struggling to keep up despite putting every spare second into your work. Some might be understanding, others may not care, but it's worth a shot. Next, are you able to reduce your hours at work without financially strapping yourself? Could your boss, depending on what you do, allow you to do some studying on the job? Talk to your boss about your situation and maybe the both of you can come up with something to help you while you get everything straightened. You may even consider consulting a "life coach", which most therapists will vouch themselves capable of. This would be helpful in terms of providing structure in a chaotic time. Mapping out your time more adequately to allow you to be the most productive. The bottom line is most of the people involved (your boss, teachers) likely don't know the situation and thus cannot help. Seek them out and see if they'll work with you.

Finally, you are not stupid or a failure. Plenty of great minds have flunked classes, people who are now respected greats. Whether you do fail (please keep going and you will not), this does not define you as a person. I don't read stupid and a failure here. I read promising, hard working, and resourceful. A stupid person wastes money at a college, never goes to school, never does the work, and thinks they deserve a sheet of paper declaring them a genius. This is not you. While you don't have much time to mix and match, I think by working with both your boss and your professors, you might be able to find a temporary solution so that you can finish these classes....with a C- or better. Keep those grades at least where they are and you will be graduate. If you can't afford a life coach, take a second to look through your schedule. Is there anything you can maybe swap around, switch hours on, or otherwise? Look for opportunities in your schedule that you may not have realized existed because you are too busy working yourself frantically.

Try to relax, do not let the negative thoughts (stupid, failure) get you, and try to approach this is calm, responsible manner. You're capable and have been doing the best you can do given the circumstances. Sometimes this means we take a C and it's okay. As you said, you're this close, so let's finish it off and get that degree. You got this. Please take care, be kind to yourself (truly), and shake off the negative feelings. Let us know how you do!