Bereavement Struggles

Bereavement Struggles

Hi All.long time since i visited here. Really struggling with losing my wife Louise over 2 years ago to ill health after meningitis years previously. its been a long struggle, in our time of need we was let down badly by Doctors which led to long litigation on how Louise was treated at the time this went on for years that has recently been won. by which time Louise had deteriorated and died. i've had some Bereavement meetings at my local hospice that helped at the time but cant move on at this time.

3 Replies

  • Hi Dene, I'm very sorry for your loss. Meningitis is such a serious illness and the medical experts often let us down. Dealing with the loss of a loved one is extremely difficult let alone coupled with circumstances that medically could have been mitigated. I lost my mum to BM 25 months ago. We were extremely close. Lived 15 mins from each other and spoke daily. Our family too was let down by those in the medical field. In particular, a GP who sent my mum home with an 'ear infection' diagnoses. The Dr misdiagnosed 'meningitis' which is actually what mum (in the medical centre) presented with. I can relate and understand how you feel because we too, wonder what could have been? I found the ICU hospital Dr's here in Australia were 'often available' for me to speak with (even months after mums passing), however, they had their own agenda, to protect themselves from litigation. (The hospital also made a blunder & neglected to give my mum a CAT scan in hospital ,despite the positive lumber puncture test). Not sure where you are, but I found there was a lack of support for the families where loved ones had passed. Lots of hospital counselling readily available though for patients families.

    I have days like you where it's tough. I'm pleased that you attended bereavement meetings. I looked for some here and couldn't find any.



  • Hi Dene, i am so so so sorry for your loss. I lost my granma who raised me and we did everything together just under two months ago. There is no pain like grieving for a loved one. I am happy you won the courtcase, although i can imagine what you want most is your wife back. I am also struggling...really bad. I am seeing a councilor, i have suportive friends but.. the pain is always there. The doctors failed to recognize BM in time and or act adequately in time and shes gone. And i was there ebery step of the way trying to be proactive but also giving them space to do their job and i didnt know.. how could i have known but i still blame myself for not doing more, for not knowing, for not pushing more. I let her down. I am living with that and i dont know how i will get thru it. Ppl say it takes time.. but i am not sure if i will make it thru a break down, even now that i dont cry as much the pain hasnt decreased. Is like i look ok on the outside but completely broken on the inside. I saw her deterioate right before my eyes nothing i could do to help. nothing. I am trying to get thru this but i dont know if i can ...i am trying for my little son..he deserves his mom. But every mini second of alone time, everymini second of thought when i am not distracted i am in pain. Meningitis is an awful,merciless cowardly disease. My gma was strong vibrant and beautiful loved life she didnt harm a fly, dhe was just happy to be a grandma and a great gma. She loved us she enjoyed us. And we enjoyed her.

    They say give it im moving alonng, im trying..for my son. Moment by moment. Im trying to cherish the moments im ok, the moments im distracted. Thats all i can do. Thats all we can do. I wish you many good moments.


  • Hi Dene, so sorry for your loss. Sending you hugs.

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