At the end of January my boyfriend wasn't feeling well one evening and told me not to come round as he just wanted to sleep but I was stubborn and insisted on coming round just to check on him and I'm glad I did as I was the one who recognised his symptoms as not just flu but meningitis and called the ambulance. I stayed with him most of the time while he recovered and met his parents for the first time. He was in hospital for 6 days and it turned out to be bacterial meningitis (B strain) but thankfully he responded really well to antibiotics and has had few lasting effects apart from a little weakness in his legs (but this is improving) and his concentration wasn't what it used to be. So my first question I guess is, Is this normal and how long can these effects last for?
But the second part of my post is about me.
I know he is fine now but I keep having 'what if?' moments and very occasionally nightmares where I wake up in tears because in my dream I wasn't stubborn and went to check on him or I didn't recognise his symptoms, I never get to the end of the dream because I always wake up but I'm left feeling what if? and I hate this feeling.
I know this is a stupid way to think because he is absolutely fine now and I don't want to talk to him about it because I don't want him to worry about me! but has anyone got any recommendations as to how to stop having these what if moments?
Thank you x