I lost my soul mate 6 weeks ago.

[Janbar]

My husband, my friend the dad of our four beautiful children died 6 weeks ago. He was only 36. Would like to here from other people on how to cope when you are suddenly left alone. I'm now getting quite angry that I phoned an ambulance on the Saturday saying I suspected meningitis. I feel had he been a child he would of been admitted with suspected meningitis. He didn't have a rash or sensitivity to light or stiff neck. They put it down to the fact that we both had had the flu and suspected he was getting over a virus. I'm on a roller coaster ride that I can't get off!

[daffodil]

I am so sorry to hear of your loss.Words are totally inadequate at this time but please know that you are not alone and that help is here for you. Meningitis Now provides many free services -24hr helpline, counselling, a 1-2-1 buddy where you are matched up wit someone who has had a similar Meningitis experience and you can phone,chat,email or even meet in person.They also provide family days and art,music therapies for children and the whole family.

You must still be in shock and your husbands experience sounds similar to mine,in that I was not believed and told I had the flu and sent home from Aand E.I knew I was very ill and even had a rash growing in front of me,but was told it was a viral rash,by a very inexperienced young doctor.Luckily for me,once home I fitted and fell out of bed and was taken back ,9hrs after my original admission.I remember nothing more for 2weeks as I was intubated with Meningicoccocal Septicaemia.

If you would like to talk more privately please click on my user name and it will take you to a page where you can send a private message or you may prefer to contact someone who has experienced bereavement like yourself?I am online right now as I don't sleep well with pain,so feel free to pm me.

Have you contacted the Helpline?The nurses are wonderful and will help in any way they can.When I contacted them after Meningitis(back in 2008) I was at rock bottom,as the emotional and physical consequences of this cruel disease were making me feel suicidal one minute ,then the next so blessed to have survived.Up and down every minute.I can honestly say that if I had not spoken with the nurses and then had counselling I don't think I could have carried on,as M ruined my life,my mobility and my marriage.Sorry to moan,as I know you want your husband to have lived.

However,I hope I have turned my trauma into something for greater good,as now volunteer on forum,1-2-1 ,fundraise and distribute awareness cards for this wonderful charity.We are here for you forever or just for support until you can move on.

You may find that you don't get instant answers on this forum as most of us are Meningitis folks who are still struggling with theday to day after effects of Meningitis.Hope there are some regulars on to offer support,but helpline is open 24hrs a day and perhaps night time would be best for you when the children are asleep?

Sending you and you children my sympathies,on behalf of everyone on the forum.

[firankine]

Hi

I joined this site because my teenage son had meningitis 18 months ago- however your post caught my eye as 20 years ago my husband died of a sudden ( and misdiagnosed) illness he was only 35 and I was left with 3 young children and expecting number 4. Losing your partner at such a young age was a truly isolating experience for me- obviously having young children and needing to care for them in the context of a future life that now looks nothing like you thought it would is physically and emotionally exhuasting. I remember vividly using precious energy dealing with other peoples feelings and difficulties about what had happened. I had family and friends but they were at a loss with what to do and say ! Reading your post I can remember what I felt like at the time and I feel for you greatly. I don't want to go on too much but would be happy to post you again if you want to reply.

Take care x

[legless7397]

Please accept my sincerest condolances, my episode with meningitis was very similar to what you have been through, I was fine Sunday, vomiting next day and critically I'll the next day, I had no rash, stiff neck or problems with light, my go saw me on the Monday and gave me a thorough check up and no symptoms were apparent so he gave me an injection to stop vomiting, later that night left side of my face went purple phoned on call doctors but was fobbed off, by following morning I could not walk got to hospital at about 5:40 in the morning and by 07:00 was in intensive care 10 days on a ventilator and woke to find both legs below knee badly affected with gangrene and had to be amputated,to this day I still struggle with how I survived and other younger and fitter/healthier than myself have died because of this.i was 44 at the time.please contact Meningitis Now who can offer you some help through this tragic time.

May your husband rest in peace.