Oh! So much emotional as I type these words. It is so fresh in my memory how by this day, two years ago, I was still lying on my backside for more than two months, at a spot, thinking whether I would walk again or not. I would look down on my feet which were rotten and dying off each minute that passed and inconsolably cry myself to sleep as I was totally helpless of my situations. I had been struck near dead by bacteria meningitis and septicemia (meningococcus septicemia to precise)
It pained me more, my situation , because it could have been prevented, all the suffering and pain I went and still going through, could have the paramedics acted rightly and fast too. Just 28hours before rushed to hospital unconscious, I had called ambulance to take me to hospital cos I was sick. The paramedics after conducting a quick health Check on me, recording BP 95/165, heart rate 115 per min, temp39.1*, advised me to rest instead and refused to convey me to a&e. By the time I was found unconscious and unresponsive by a friend, the disease had done its worst damages. I was admitted to A&E with:
1. Acute meningo-encephalitis
4. Acute kidney damage
I was left to fight for my life in hospital for a total of 9 months, during which I suffered more complications secondary to meningitis and septicemia
6. Ischemic contractures of both hands
7. Gangrenous feet resulting in 8 toes amputations, feet amputations , 11 multiple surgeries, a 20 hrs feet reconstruction surgery with gracilis muscle flaps
8. Bilateral profound sensori-neural deafness
9. Bilateral cochlear implant surgeries
11. Double episode of Pericarditis
12. Extensive rehabilitation period.
But today, 26months down the line, I'm proud to say that I am a survivor. I can walk on my too feet again with clutches. I can hear sound again with cochlear implant devices. I can look back to those painful moments, depression, tears and sorrowful and lonely periods and say I have had it all. I will not talk about the psychological trauma , cognitive complications, and mental anguish I passed and am still passing through.
Today, I am still struggling with
1. Hearing problem
2. Vestibular dysfunction
4. Neuropathic pains
5. Phantom limb pain
6. Without a wife
7. Job loss
8. Apartment loss
9. Endless out patient appointment in 7 different hospitals between 9 different departments
10. So much psychological, emotional, cognitive and mental problems
I don't know how or what to feel. Should I feel happy and triumphant or should I feel sad and broken? Should I be grateful or feel depraved? Should I celebrate for victory gained or should I mourn for my loss of person I used to be? I don't know what to feel. So, I ask myself... Is this improvement or what? Perhaps you tell me :!