Relocation for Brother

[Willow707]

Hello everyone, looking for advice.

My 79 yo mum has recently moved from Plymouth to Weymouth to be with her extended family following the loss of my Dad last year.

My 54yo brother is Downs and lived at home, attending day centre until Dad died. Mum went into hospital and my brother was placed in emergency accommodation in Oct 23, he was moved twice and is now in a full time residential home in Plymouth but lost his day centre provision (which I understand)

My mum would like to relocate my brother from Plymouth to Weymouth so he can be near her, all the extended family support network is also in Weymouth.

We do not have any form of court order or POA for my brother as solicitor advised highly unlikely to be granted in their experience.

Devon Social Services are telling mum she can not relocate my brother as it his his choice where he lives. My brother lacks the capacity to know where Plymouth or Weymoth is or time, distance etc. As long as he has TV, music and people around him he is happy.

Any advice on,

1) Is this advice correct?

2) How to find an adult care place in Weymouth, just Google search?

3) Advice on how to start the relocation process?

I should add mum is elderly, infirm, does not drive or use public transport so has no way of getting to and from Plymouth, some 2.5hrs away. I live 5hrs away and do visit to take mum back but this is not sustainable long term.

Any advice gratefully received, I now realise everything my Dad did for the family which I took for granted.

Thanks

Ian

[Eeviee]

hi. Sorry to hear that your brother is in this situation. There are so many issues here I would speak to a mencap adviser asap.

[Willow707 in reply to Eeviee]

Thanks Eeviee, good advice.

[Steve__]

Good luck on all this. I did similar a few years ago. It is possible. The qcq website is good for choosing homes and reading reviews... You need to be sure the new one will be better or as good as the old one.

Regardless of capacity, his wishes and experience are a factor... Worth pondering on what the greatest happiness (as far as he's thinking) will be in each scenario, and how he'd understand any of this. Access to family rights is in the Care Act... Worth checking that.

As for the whole process, you need a small book rather than a posting on here, and Mencap services are the best place to start.

Good luck!

[DrSarahmac in reply to Steve__]

all good points. And I particularly agree it’s worth properly considering how you can make the current situation work. Regular monthly visits from various family members at different times may be better for him and all of you rather than the stress and frustration of taking on a battle you may not win. I understand (believe me I do) the desire to have him nearer but if he’s happy where he is you may well not win and you really need a long term solution in place that primarily serves his needs.

[Willow707 in reply to Steve__]

Perfect, thanks Steve

[Maurice_Mencap Partner]

Hi Willow707 , thanks for reaching out. Capacity is definitely a complicated issue, and although time or distance aren't things he might comprehend I wonder if putting in ways that he might understand, like how often he will be able to see your mother, might affect his choice.

But yes, as others have mentioned certainly get in touch with Mencap's Learning Disability Helpline on 0808 808 1111 or [e-mail] to speak with our trained advisers to for support and advice.

[Willow707 in reply to Maurice_Mencap]

Hello Maurice, some great advice and truely appreciate everyone taking the time to reply, I will follow up on these points and speak with an advisor.