Essay alert - Sorry!! I am a 49 year old parent carer to my two children, and also my husband, all of whom have diagnosed learning disabilities and autism. My husband, 48, has only recently been diagnosed with a learning disability and autism, after leaving specialist SEN education at the age of 16. Long story short, he had no identified disability (except specific learning difficulties and ADHD) when we had children, and it rapidly became untenable after they arrived. I ended up having to give up work, sell the house, and became insolvent due to total lack of support and trying to meet his and their needs. We moved onto a boat as a short term measure, and in 2020 social services decided that the boat was not meeting my husband's needs and moved him into a flat about twenty minutes away. I now care for him living there, while trying to care for our two learning disabled children on an off grid boat, with little support. I have tried to get onto the housing list, but they insist I can meet my own housing need. Shelter and CAB advised that I should submit a homelessness application because living on the boat involves lifting bags of coal, gas bottles, toilet cartridges, and I am actually disabled with Fibromyalgia, Cervical Spondylosis, Temperomandibular Joint Dysfunction, Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, etc. Housing are still stalling, trying to get a valuation of the boat (will probably be circa £40K, but I only own half of that, so £20K), so that they can refuse that application as well. I'm not able to rent due to poor credit rating., and I can't move out of the boat to get the money to put down a deposit on a flat. I'm not eligible for the HOLD scheme because I do still hope to one day refocus on my career, and I certainly don't want to stop my children from attempting to work in the future despite their disabilities. I feel like I need an organisation or individual that understands the difficulties around housing to help me to find a realistic way forwards. Does anything like that exist? Can anyone point me in the right direction?
Housing Support: Essay alert - Sorry!! I am a 49 year... - Mencap
Housing Support
I feel for you and your difficulties. It must be really hard and very tiring. Would you be able to contact Mencap regarding your difficulties, not sure if they can point you in the right direction or what about social services and trying to get a social worker who might be able to help. I understand if you don’t want to go down the route of social services though as it could be a bit intimidating, it’s just a suggestion.
Wishing you luck and take care.
Sorry your in this situation & feeling for you, keep strong your Amazing for being there for all your Loveones.Mencap would be my first advice & look up your local Advocacy Service maybe, they can speak for you & know the Words to use, get a Social Worker, your Council also should be able to advise. Citizens Advice are also good. MIND maybe able to advise too, NAS worth a chat too. Best Wishes x
I've Fibro, ME and IBS and I also raised 4 kids, two of which have disabilities. One severe with uncontrolled epilepsy/type 1 diabetes and the other moderate. All the 'children' have now left the last one just a week ago (very quiet house)
As you own half the boat can you not be in a position whereby the other owner would be within their rights not to allow you to sell? Yes, it's a bit of a fiddle but then, so is the fiddle they are working trying to claim £20000 will pay for much rented accommodation! Wouldn't even last 2 years.
Of course, they will argue you can sell your half, go into rented and then, when the cash runs out, go back to them considerably more desperate. As you know though, they won't work things for your circumstance. They won't worry about where your husband is and it'll be a hotel for up to two years. I don't suppose you have a relative you can overcrowd? At least that way the relative (or friend) can then evict you very slowly allowing a better housing outcome though, get rid of the £20k
If there is a body which helps, I never found it. Not that I had to contend with the homeless situation. I just never ever got proper respite. One might go into respite and then an hour or so later they'd contact me to go collect them as they were either more than they can manage or they were allegedly poorly. I got very used to turning my phone off as soon as I dropped them off.
I didn't want to read and run. Sounds like an awful situation. My suggestion woukd be to get a carers assessment through the council (which is intrusive and annoying), but will hopefully push things along to get a house.
Learning difficulty or Learning disability?
Housing options
Expert event - challenging behaviour
Housing Association - Not disabled enough to keep extra bedroom 
