Teen sexually and physically assaulting mum and sister in home

[2556]

I'm at my wits end...my daughter in law and granddaughter are at home alone with my 15 yr old autistic and adhd grandson...he is out of control totally tonight, exposing himself, grabbing both females inappropriately, throwing kitchen items around, pulling the dogs ears, swearing etc etc....no one knows what to do... The police have been involved on several occasions....mum has pressed charges on son but he's still in the family home..referred to the youth offending team, but they've said today they can't do anything to help the boy or the family....I don't know where to turn tonight...please can someone advise me??

[Hidden]

When my son had challenging behavior we got autism specialist school and that helped with his communication and aggressive behavior - communication was key I don't know if that helps

[2556 in reply to Hidden]

Yes we've been trying to get him into a specialist school...but in the meantime need immediate assistance 😢

[Ilovecows in reply to 2556]

it’s not use to press charges it last criminalising someone if he was doing it on purpose and he knows he is doing it and he is been mean then fair enough but if not then pressing charges is really the worst thing you can do people with disabilities get abused in custody

[Jofisher]

call social services emergency number and raise a safeguarding as he’s at risk to himself and others. They may refer to Mental Health services but see what they say

[2556 in reply to Jofisher]

They've just asked if theres a male family member who can help....there isnt😩

[2556 in reply to 2556]

theyve said they will 'document the call'

[2556 in reply to Jofisher]

thank you.... eventually someone is taking notice and we have respite in place for a few days ☺️

[Jofisher in reply to 2556]

brilliant well done who ended up listening in the end? Did any of my suggestions helped ?

[Eeviee]

I would get in touch with social services and ask if they have a behaviour management team. If there is they should be able to give you support. If you are not getting any urgent help approach your local councillor and/or the councillor who heads up the social services committee on the council and impress on them the seriousness of the situation. You need urgent help but be mindful that your grandson is a child and the parent has primary responsibility. He can only be removed via a legal process which is outside my experience. Even at the most difficult times I was not going to let my son go into the care of the LA but my family needed support with our sons behaviour which was nothing like the behaviour you are describing

[2556 in reply to Eeviee]

This boy has actually said he hates where he lives and wants to go into care....

[2556 in reply to 2556]

thank you ever so much for the advice...as of yesterday after a horrible few days we actually have some respite for a few days....it has moved to a different level and more people are involved so im feeling much more optimistic

[OBIBAH]

Whiles waiting for the safeguarding team or the social services support, keep monitoring the child and remove any injurious substance from his proximity.

Continue reassuring him with adequate support and provide items he's friendly and comfortable playing with.

He's going to be fine.

[Ilovecows]

it’s not fair to criminalise someone he needs Soecialist help by the sound of it and that’s really hard to get these days but he is a person he is your child he matters to hes not just nothing I noticed that a lot of people see there kids as problem and want to get rid of them that’s what my mum did to me she didn’t care that I not getting helped properly and I was getting abused by services

[Ilovecows in reply to Ilovecows]

because I’m a burden to her i got told people want to get on with there life there is no hope for people with disabilities in this World when people want to criminalise them all the time they need help that’s what they need they are people and im sure with lots to give to this world

[Maurice_Mencap Partner]

Hello 2556 , as others have said in their responses, this is a safeguarding issue and should be raised with the safeguarding team at your local authority.

If you're not sure about how to do this or feel you could do with some support, please contact our Learning Disability Helpline on 0808 808 1111 or email [e-mail], and our advisors will be able to assist.

We also have a list of organisations on our website that can assist in an emergency situation - please have a look here: mencap.org.uk/crisis

[2556 in reply to Maurice_Mencap]

thank you so much for taking the time to reply... thankfully yesterday some respite has been found...we can breathe for a few days and continue with other plans of action ☺️

[Maurice_Mencap Partner in reply to 2556]

That's really good to hear, thanks for letting us know. Hope your grandson gets the support he needs to help prevent situations like the one your family experienced this week from happening again. If you still feel like you could do with some advice, our helpline is always there.

[LearningLot in reply to 2556]

I would call Mencap if I were you, to discuss next steps. I'm worried that when the respite ends you'll be back to square one. Just because people are involved doesn't mean their promises will materialise.

[Rupertthebear]

He may need to be given some medication to calm him down . You should have phoned 111 and told them or your GP . My son went out of control suddenly when he had too much going around him and became similar . He was given medication in a&e . Social services are not doctors .

[2556]

thank you for taking the time to reply...yes he is on medication but is refusing to take it...just to update you...at long last yesterday some emergency respite was put in place😁

[Eeviee]

hi. Just remember to keep the pressure up on those who can help you. Each young person and family is different and it’s difficult to advise without knowing all the details but keeping safe from harm for all involved is the first priority I would think. In such a difficult situation you need professional help going forward so make sure you get it. Good luck.