Thank you to everyone

[gilliansexton]

Thank you to everyone for their supportive and informative replies, I am really touched and encouraged that things may not be so bad in the future. I'm really grateful to all of you.

[LDAutie]

hi gilliansexton i didnt post on the topic as i didnt want to speak for my mum but itll be great having you around posting, i was institutionalised at 18 ,and although a lot of bad things happened to me there it was the best thing that coud have happened to me, at 37 i am a bit independant compared to not at all,and i didnt have the long term shock of being kept at home till my parents died then suddenly being shoved into a care facility that doesnt suit my needs -if you want to watch a good indie film on this exact subject, have a look for 'my feral heart' i think it came out in 2018,its very good.

but residential care and supported living are completely different now,in residential care (at least some of those ive lived in) you cant even take photos of a friend/fellow house mate with yourself if yourself or they are classed as lacking mental capacity,CQC is very good if you have got any issues that the home isnt sorting out,my mum has used them before to report some issues here (a mostly rubbish supported living facility) and the very next day the management were contacted by CQC and told my rights and where they were going wrong.

i recomend looking up a guy called paul hunt,he is a real legend and key figure in the invention of supported living and the social model of disability,theres a doc on bbciplayer about it i think if you search the term disability on iplayer it comes up i think but i cant remember the name of it.

-the reason im recommending it is,it gives a different view,more positive of care and i hope itll make you feel a bit better about the future,things are slowly happening,much better protection is out there now for us.

it is a shame there is not a weekly mencap zoom meeting for people to discuss things, or a chatroom.

[Library-girl]

Hi I can only guess at what you’re going through having nor been there myself (yet) but I totally understand the guilt you must feel but I honestly believe to let go and give our children is the right thing to do - they deserve that but also so do we. You are obviously a loving caring parent and in time I really think this will be for the best for you all - you aren’t abandoning your child you are allowing you both to have space to grow and re-energise and have a strong happy healthy relationship going forward. Please don’t beat yourself up you’re doing fab