Romance Fraud

[Cjson]

I'm a mother of a 28 year old son who has a learning difficulty and ASD. He had a support plan for 8 years in South Yorkshire and lived independently which worked well. He asked to return back home a year ago to start saving and plan his future life he has a permanent part-time job after doing a variety of temporary contracts

He got involved with someone on twitter whom he really thought was his girlfriend. This person fleeced every penny.. got hold of his bank account details and took out about 5 loans and credit cards which now leaves him with about £20k of debts. I'm so heartbroken for him.

This has been reported to the national fraud police and banks. His account is now blocked.

We self refered to safeguarding adults who transferred the referral to the adult disability team and a social worker is now involved.

We now have 3rd party access to his account and is in the process of applying for power of attorney. It's so difficult as parents you want them to be independent and safe especially as we get older it's more of a worry. We are both in our 50s. Any more advice will be greatly appreciated.

[Sarah_Mencap]

Hello Cjson

I am so sorry to hear this. What an awful experience for you and your son. It sounds like you have done all the right things.

To rebuild a bit of confidence with money it might be worth looking at the Dosh website - dosh.org/

However, learning to stay safe online, and who you can trust, is very tricky. Mencap have some resources you might find helpful about bullying and discrimination -

mencap.org.uk/advice-and-su...

It is completely understandable that your son wants to form his own relationships. There are online dating websites that might offer your son a safer environment to form relationships. Here is a link to a post with more detail - healthunlocked.com/mencap/p...

Please do also call our helpline if there is anything else you need advice about.

Planning for future is always time well spent. Setting up the right legal powers will make your life a little easier.

Best wishes

Sarah

[Dolton in reply to Sarah_Mencap]

Hi Sarah.

My son was with DOSH as were several of the people in his care provider in supported living.

They were absolutely terrible. They failed to pay his rent for almost 10 months. they regularly paid his allowance into his account twice and on one occasion paid it 3 times on one day so my son drew the money out and spent it. The part time worker "handlling" his account was never there. On one occasion I phoned DOSH accounts and was asking them to investigate how they managed to pay my son's allowance in twice and the person handling my enquiry left me on hold and after 15 minutes I hung up and redialled only to be told the person had gone to lunch 15 minutes before!!

My son paid them.£60 a month for this 'service' and when I complained to the Chief Exec. He just said if I wasnt happy with the service then I was welcome to leave. Others in the same building as my son also had a disastrous experience with DOSH. I would suggest you stop recommending this organisation to people.

I've been trying for years to get free of the management of my son's finances. When I put it in the hands of Client Financial Services it worked fairly well for about two years then the named officer there left and the new one received a £2000 bill from the Council's "Fairer Charges" Unit and paid it without talking to anyone about it. No consideration for Disability Related Expenditure was given and they also tried to block men from taking back appointeeship for my son. It took me two years to get that money back.

If I had the energy I would have had both these organisations charged with financial abuse.

I do not know what I'm going to do to prepare for financial management of my son's affairs when I die. Handling his money is a very destructive force in our relationship and I wish I didn't have to do it.

Regards

A

[49Twister in reply to Dolton]

So shocking to hear this, I am still appointee for my 46 year old son, I am 72. I will have to hand this role over at some time, but supported living providers need to get their act together in this area as they have no respect when handling service users finances. I also believe the government needs to raise the amount of savings allowance for people on benefits. It’s been £6000 since god knows when !! They should be allowed to save a reasonable amount towards their retirement.

[Hidden]

I am so heartbroken 💔 to read this post. Unfortunately vulnerable people are taken advantage of.

I have a severally autistic son he lacks capacity, and I am glad he lacks capacity because I would be so angry if such a thing happened to my child. You did all the right things by going to safeguarding. Third party banks helps. And now to the best. Well done in taking the deputyship it’s very important because in situations like what just happened to your son you can’t deal with it due to you not having deputyship. I am not British , although lived here most of my life since a young girl , although I live a british life I still struggle with the idea that parents of adult disabled children have no say in their children’s lives. In portugal where I come from parents do not need any legal documentation. Your child is disabled your in charge. Wishing you well.

[Cjson in reply to Hidden]

Thank you for all for your kind responses.. it's a hard long journey. I'm currently on a call with one of the finance companies, been waiting for 30 mins now..☹️

[49Twister in reply to Cjson]

Let’s know how you get on. The problem with some of these posts is that often we don’t hear the outcome. I think it would be useful and I understand some issues can take months to sort out, but would be interesting whether it was positive or negative. Good luck

[Polonius]

We had a similar problem and now we have set up an independent account where most money is held and over which a trust account holder has control and money ( in our case daily) is released from this account to one that my daughter holds herself. There is never anymore than a few pounds left sitting in it.