why can't I take my daughter out for the day? - Mencap


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why can't I take my daughter out for the day?

Suethemum profile image

We live in Wales. My daughter has LDs and lives in a small residential home. I am allowed to visit her for 1 hour a week now, outside, but I am still not allowed to take her out. Surely this can't be legal, given that even people who are shielding (she is not) can stay overnight with another person? I just want to take her to the beach for a picnic and a swim.

Anyone else in the same position?

any advice gratefully received.

Thank you

8 Replies
Sarah_Mencap profile image

Hello Suethemum

I get a bit muddled on the all the different lockdown rules in all the different regions.

It might be worth calling the Wales Learning Disability Helpline to ask for a bit of advice about this.

Phone: 0808 8000 300

Email: helpline.wales@mencap.org.uk

I hope this helps.



Hi Sarah do you have any information regarding the rules in England for people in supported living with learning disabilities who share a house. Thankyou.

Hi Suethemum, it’s really tough. I live in England so the rules all vary. My son lives in supported living with one other housemate. I have been allowed to visit him outside for some time now and they have just introduced that one allocated person can go inside his home into an allocated room for up to one hour. The same will apply to his housemate. He has been visiting me at my home the last couple of w/ends, he can come into my house but he is not allowed to sleep over. If he lived on his own he would be allowed to sleepover but because he shares with someone restrictions are greater. They are being extra cautious which I can understand but it does seem extreme as they don’t have underlying health issues. It does seem even more strict for your daughter, I’m assuming it’s because she lives in a residential home with more people. It seems to be in the same category as care homes which they aren’t as they are for older people with health problems. Are you in regular contact with the manager to express your concerns? It does feel like they have been forgotten and I am getting to the point where I may bring him home if it goes on much longer. The only problem is I have health problems!!! It really is harsh, but I do feel you have even less contact, its an awful situation we’re all in and can’t really see an end to it. It would be nice if you could take her out for the day it feels so cruel that you can’t. Don’t know how many people she lives with but I have a feeling this is the reason they are being so strict. Hope this is sorted soon for you both.

I can take my son out for days outside but not overnight unless he stays for 2 weeks. If he comes in the car we wear masks. If your daughter has her own tenancy she can make her own choices but it would probably be fair to let others in her residence know. Thy must have their reasons to be so strict but it would worry me that my child was effectively incarcerated and mental health would suffer. Not sure we would do that to many groups in society.

The short answer is because the government guidance at the moment is so bad and difficult to understand that providers are left often being advised to follow care home rules and guidance. Obviously this is very restrictive but when your a manager of service your always going to want to make sure your service is safe and inline with whatever your being told by the government/social services.

If its a supported living service and the service user has capacity then they can almost do what they like and even not follow the guidance from the service or government (this may result in safeguarding issues). Ask to see the risk assessments and what guidance they are following. If nothing it will let you know the reason for the current restrictions. You can even try and find the current guidance yourself by searing the .gov coronavirus website. The advice for care homes at the moment is quite strict and restrictive in England, so that might be what they are trying to follow.

My personal advice is that if the service is usually good, then maybe give them benefit of the doubt during a global pandemic. They are all over worked super stressed and the restrictive practices are only being put in place to help save lives and insure they are adhering to the bad/vague guidance from the government.

I do not understand why not! perhaps you can talk to someone with Legal know how? start with mencap.

My son is at residential college and we can’t take him out either. He’s in a safe bubble there. When he went back there in May he had to isolate in another house For two weeks. I guess then they’re all safe. If we took him out and he caught Covid he could take it back to the house. I understand why the rules are in place. Its to keep the others in the house safe. Of Course staff are in and Out so they aren’t completely safe !

Unfortunately there seems to be very little clarity, which means that providers are making up their own rules. I am sure that they are doing this with the best of intentions but as the visiting arrangements vary so much its frustrating.

My son is in a residential care home and I have just had a 'Best Interest' meeting to decide if I am allowed to see him. They will only allow this if it is off site in an outside location and I am wearing a face mask.

I do feel that LD care needs to be looked at urgently in the context of Covid 19 as many individuals without any additional medical conditions that would make them especially susceptible, are being denied the rights that the rest of society now have.

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