single, caring for an adult in my home, can't bubble - Mencap


3,387 members768 posts

single, caring for an adult in my home, can't bubble


My situation must be pretty common - I am single and I care for my adult son who has LD. as we are two adults in the house, I can't bubble with my parents - also two adults in their house. Before covid, I depended on them a fair bit to help out with my son - who they love being with.

If my son was under 18 - a child and going to school and mixing with 100s of other kids, we could bubble. If he lived alone but had a team of carers coming in, he could bubble. But in our situation we can't.

This seems very unfair to me - shouldn't there be an exception made for unpaid carers?

15 Replies
ShueCommunity friend

Hi, one of the hardest jobs is being a lone carer and it's being made harder due to isolation and lack of services and support. I don't think anyone would condemn you for doing what's best for your and your sons mental wellbeing. If you need the support of others ie your parents then that'show it has to be to get you through this situation. You won't be blatently ignoring the rules you will be protecting yours and your sons mental health. I'm sure many others would agree. Be safe.

outdoorsy1 in reply to Shue

well I agree completely - but as I see increased restrictions coming, and people being encouraged to snitch on each other... it really would be much better if we could officially bubble.

49Twister in reply to Shue

Totally agree, common sense, stay safe.

I really thought you would be exempt from the rules. Children are allowed to stay with both separated parents and I've read vulnerable adults can too. I'm sure you would be ok to have your parents in your bubble. Could you contact your local council or adult social services to find out? Im in the same situation but luckily have PA support every day for my son, although its getting so hard to find things for him to do with everywhere either closed or I'm too worried for him to go incase he catches the virus, hes walking a lot at the moment.

ShueCommunity friend in reply to Swimbikerun1

Hi, my son has a support worker x3 per week, we too strugled to find anything besides walking for him untill I stumbled on disc golf and outdoor crazy golf. Such fun, he loves it. Not sure if it would be suitable for your son or if they have it in your area but just a safer activity to consider. Best wishes.

Why can't you bubble with your parents???

outdoorsy1 in reply to Tricia7

because it is against the rules (in England, where I am) - you can only bubble with another family if you are a single adult unit, or if they are. As my son and I are both adults, as are my parents, we are not, officially, allowed.

I was kind of hoping mencap would be fighting this one...

unless the rules have changed? in which case please point me at them :)

49Twister in reply to outdoorsy1

You are right about the rules and I don’t think it has changed in all this time. Because your child is an adult it doesn’t count which is wrong on all levels as they need just as much care and attention., if not more. I’m with you, why are none of the CEOs of all the organisations who allegedly support all these people with LDs not shouting from the rooftops in their defence, to get them more inclusion in the guidelines. I’m not advocating you break the rules but I’m with Shue on this one and if you really need your parents support during this difficult time for both of your wellbeing so be it. It really is disgraceful that nothing has changed in all this time. Good luck and take care.

outdoorsy1 in reply to 49Twister

yep - it is clear to me what is right... just it would be nice if it was officially right.

I am sure that your parents could be classed as carers. If you’re worried, I would contact social services and ask them to write a letter explaining this. For example, earlier in the lockdown we got a letter ( to show to police or anyone else that questioned us) explaining that our son needed to go out more than twice a day and for safety reasons may need to drive to a different area for him to exercise safely. In the end, nobody did question us, but knowing we had written permission made things a lot less stressful.


Hello. The rules are tricky to interpret. I have asked our helpline if they can help clarify. thanks, Sarah

great, thanks x

The silence from Mencap and associate organisations on the problems created by this virus to the disabled and their carers and families is DEAFENING.


The rapidly changing guidance around COVID can be very complicated to interpret.

The Helpline has a team of Information and Advice Officers who are up to date on the latest guidance. They are prioritising enquiries related to COVID.

If you would like to speak any more about this, then do get in contact with Mencap's Helpline by phoning 0808 808 1111 or emailing - you can add 'FOI of Harriet' in the email subject if you like.

Best wishes,


You may also like...