Hi All,
I am TRYING to do the best for my mum who has MD and is also profoundly deaf. I have had to jump through hoops to get her the help that she deserves only to find that she is choosing to reject that help.
I had a wonderful lady from Support 4 Sight visit her last week who has left a magnifying glass for her to try and she also changed all her light bulbs to ones that mimic daylight. When she changed the bulbs my mum commented that they were a lot better and she could now see the room a lot clearer so please can someone tell me why she is still sitting in the dark with the blinds pulled. She is also not attempting to use the magnifier but she is using a LED torch instead to try and read even though she said using the magnifier helped.
I also had the sensory team visit her (both deaf and sight) and she was offered a wonderful door bell that flashes and is very loud. She refused this doorbell telling us that she had no problems hearing the one she already had only for me to find out that she wasn't telling the truth as she could not hear it but was relying on her dog to tell her if anyone was at the door and because she couldn't hear her doorbell she was constantly leaving the door unlocked so that people could just walk in. She refused to see that this is dangerous and brushed aside the concerns of both myself and my brother. She changed her mind about the doorbell within 24 hours so I then had to get back in touch with Social services and ask then to order her one.
I have fought long and hard to get her an appt with the low vision clinic (it took 6 weeks of battling with her GP and the hosp) only for her to now inform me that she is only willing to go to one appt and no more.
She is refusing all practical help the experts are giving her - like not wasting her money buying a bigger t.v. as it will not help (she is going out next week to buy a bigger t.v.), she was shown how to use her peripheral vision and not her front vision but refuses to even try, she was given headphones to help with her hearing but refused to even attempt to use these - and so the list goes on.
I know I may sound harsh but I am fast losing any sympathy for my mum as, although I am willing to get her all the help she needs, I am not willing to waste my time as well as the time of all the kind people that are trying to help her. My holidays in work are fast disappearing due to all the appts I am having to book for her only for these to be rendered useless as she is not willing to take on board what this people are advising her. The old saying of "you can take a horse to water.............." comes to mind. I am finding the whole process soul destroying as I know, if she took on board some of the advice and attempted to use some of the aids she has been offered, her life may be a lot easier. At the moment I am really considering backing off and letting my other two siblings try and deal with her as she has accused me of bullying her more than once by booking her appts. I never knew caring for someone you love could be so difficult and frustrating.
Sorry for the long post but I am at the end of my tether.
Moggie x