Hi there, wondered if I could ask for your advice please? My Mum passed away at the beginning of September from extensive stage small cell lung cancer.
It all happened so quickly. She went to the GP at the end of June for the first time, and was told she had a chest infection. Had a chest X-Ray done around then which didn’t spot any abnormalities to do with cancer, but did suggest she had pneumonia. When things didn’t improve, she kept seeing the GP in person and speaking to them on the phone multiple times, and was given antibiotics a number of times.
When her condition wasn’t improving, I took her to A&E on July 15th and she was discharged but had a follow-up CT scan booked for the following week. Took her again to A&E on August 1st which is the date she was admitted to hospital, and was same day doctors ended up calling with the results of her CT scan. She ended up staying in hospital from August 1st to beginning of September when she passed away.
I’m tormented by thoughts of whether I could have done more to help my Mum. Specifically, wondering if I had taken her to hospital on the week beginning July 22nd whether she would have had a better chance of survival. She called the GP that week but they didn’t really give her anything.
Do you think getting treatment a week / week and a half earlier would have improved her chances of survival? I have spoken to a number of doctors and nurses about this and they said situation would still be the same. Also spoken to people on other cancer forums and they echo this as well.
Written by
diond85
To view profiles and participate in discussions please or .
Hi - My heart goes out to you so so sorry for the loss of your mum. Please don’t torture yourself with ‘what ifs’ - in my personal experience when Inwas disagnosed it took from September 11th initial problem until 20 November so some 10 weeks before first treatment. In the intervening weeks many scans, test, biopsies etc had to be carried out. So treatment does not happen quickly all of the above has to happen before a treatment can be offered. It very much sounds as though your mum’s cancer was very far advanced and a week here or there would not have changed the outcome, You did everything you could at the time but the doctors and nurses are right and you need to be kind and gentle with yourself and allow yourself to grieve for your mum without these thoughts. Sending a huge hug x
Hi Elt79 , thank you for your reply, kind words and condolences. I’m sorry to hear about your cancer diagnosis, I very much hope your health is OK these days and that the treatment that was provided helped.
Thank you for opening up about your own experiences, and for your advice. It helps to hear other people’s perspective on something that has been running through my head so much, so thank you very much for your advice and for your words of comfort. I will try to be gentle with myself. Sending internet hugs right back.
So sorry for your loss - losing a loved one suddenly and unexpectedly always leaves us with the 'what ifs' but there's nothing that would have changed the outcome so please don't burden yourself with guilt on that front especially given how many times she sought help. sadly the symptoms of lung cancer overlap with other conditions and patients often have, like your mum, pneumonia/chest infections that can mask the underlying cancer.
Small cell lung cancer can be particularly aggressive and many patients are detected when already advanced. As I was recovering from my lung cancer treatment in June 2011, we lost a dear friend suddenly and unexpectedly within days of diagnosis and 10 days of hospitalisation after going for a CT scan he'd paid for privately in desperation after 6 months of being passed between GP, community physiotherapist and private chiropractitioner, osteopath, acupuncturist for his excruciating shoulder pain, it turned out to be widespread lung cancer in liver, brain, spine and lungs. I don't know what type it was but given his very rapid deterioration wonder whether his was small cell. Having been involved in lung cancer research since 2013, I doubt whether anything would have changed his outcome but do think if he'd been sent for a chest x-ray at the start instead of assuming his pain was muscular-skeletal, something could have been done to alleviate his pain and kept him more comfortable than he was. it was such a shock to all concerned - as it has been no doubt with your mum.
My own cancer was misdiagnosed as uncontrolled asthma, kept in hospital for a week (without responding to the asthma meds) despite a chest x-ray showing a lesion on my lung - not fitting the profile of a then typical LC patient - i.e. never smoker and just had my 52nd birthday, it was never anticipated it would be serious and took weeks to get a CT then PET scan and almost a month after surgery to remove the large mass that showed on all scans before I was diagnosed with non small cell lung cancer (adenocarcinoma).
As the medics you've spoken to and the forums you're in have all said the same, that nothing would have changed the sad outcome for your mum, maybe bereavement counselling may help you talk through the things that are troubling you as it's a natural aspect of grief to think we could have done more. take care of yourself. thinking of you at this really difficult time for you and your family
Hi JanetteR57 , thank you for your reply, for your condolences and for opening up about your own experiences. I’m very sorry to hear about the sudden loss of your friend back in 2011, my deepest sympathies to you. I can imagine how much of a shock that was, and how that would make you look back at what led up to his hospitalisation. I’m sorry to hear there were months when things were like that, and that he had to pay for a scan privately to get answers. Sorry also to hear you think the chest X-Ray could have helped work that, horrible when you look back and think those things.
I’m sorry to hear about your cancer diagnosis as well, and that it was misdiagnosed also. I very much hope the surgery helped, and that you’re OK health wise since receiving that treatment, and that you’re doing well these days. Never realised that these kind of misdiagnosis could happen with cancer until recently.
Thank you for your advice, it has provided comfort hearing other people’s thoughts on all of this. Has helped hearing that other people think that extra week or so wouldn’t have made a difference, but the nagging thought does get to me at times. Have looked into bereavement counselling and have found some groups in my area I could turn to. Thank you very much for your advice and support with this, it is greatly appreciated.
Very sorry for the pain that brings you here to ask this question. Please know that, if the cancer was large enough to appear as pneumonia on an X-ray, it was already large enough to have sent metastases throughout her body. A week, even a month, would not very likely have changed the outcome.
I send prayers for peace and comfort in the memory of happier times.
Thank you for your reply Denzie , and for your kind words and condolences. It helps a lot hearing other people’s view on something that has been running through my head so much. There’s so much I don’t know about cancer, is all so new to me, so your advice about the X-Ray and timescales I mentioned was really helpful. Thank you for your advice and words of comfort.
Hi Diond85, so sorry for your Sad Loss of your Mom. After reading what you wrote, I can only say 'please stop questioning yourself ' you have done all you can. Shamefully I do believe that X-rays and the CT scan should have flagged a bit sooner. My late wife went through SCLC but had treatment for 9months before she passed. Those 9months were honestly 'hell' Her quality of life was zero, and the hospital admissions were numerous. Sadly she passed away at home on 18/12/2019 at 12:40am after 14 hours of writhing in pain and screaming. Please just take from this 'You done everything in your power to help your Mom ' and you will come to terms with her passing. You never get over it.
Thank you very much for your condolences and for your kind words. Your advice is greatly appreciated, and not shameful at all - can completely understand why you’d think that. Chest X-Ray was done early, day after she first went to GP but no CT scan was ordered by the docs until she went to A&E middle of July. Have wondered if the first X-Ray didn’t pick up something it should have.
I’m very sorry to hear about the loss of your wife, and the experiences you had with SCLC. My sincere condolences to you. I can’t imagine how tough those 9 months were, and I’m very sorry she had to experience that. I had never heard of SCLC until recently, it’s such a horrible form of cancer and I wish we all didn’t have to deal with it and its aftermath.
Thank you very much for your advice and kind words. I can imagine I won’t get over it, but will try to focus on that instead of those what ifs. Thank you for taking the time to reply and for your words of comfort.
Hi there, thank you for your kind words and for responding about this. Sorry for doubling up with this enquiry, the thought was just running through my head a lot over the weekend. I’ll respond directly to your email, thank you for your advice about this and for your condolences.
Thank you very much, it is greatly appreciated and the advice I have received has been of comfort. I’ll respond to your email and kindly provided advice directly, thanks for your support.
Hi there, please do not think that there was anything else you could have done. This disease is incredibly aggressive and unfortunatly your dear Mum was one of the unlucky one's as only 15% of people who get lung cancer get small cell. My own partner (56 years old) was diagnosed on 17th July with extensive stage although it had not mastasized to any other organs except in his right lung and across his lymph nodes in his chest. His cancer has not responded to 2 cycles of platinum chemo and immunotherapy and is now causing compression of his superior vena cava which is the major vein which runs to his heart. He has maybe a couple of weeks left if we are lucky. There is nothing we can do and even though he started chemo this cancer can be chemo resistant as they call it. Therefore, rest assured that there was nothing your could have done to help your Mum. This disease is a terrible thing. Please find solace in your memories of your Mum as I am sure she would hate to think that you were blaming yourself in anyway. Peace and love. 🙏❤️
Hi Alfie2024 , thank you for taking the time to reply and for opening up about something so personal. I’m very sorry to hear about your partner’s diagnosis, and that is the outlook. I can’t imagine how tough that is, and I hope you’re taking good care of yourself. I’m sure your support means the world to your partner.
Never had heard of SCLC until recently, and didn’t realise there was a cancer that could be this aggressive, or there was one that could be chemo resistant. It is such a horrible disease, and I wish we all didn’t have to deal with it.
Thank you for your kind words and your condolences. It helps a lot speaking about something that has been running through my head so much, and hearing other people’s thoughts on it. Thank you for your words of comfort, and for replying with all you’ve got going on at the moment. It is really appreciated. Take good care of yourself too at the moment. Know it’s much easier said than done, but try to take it one day at a time and look after yourself as well as you can.
Content on HealthUnlocked does not replace the relationship between you and doctors or other healthcare professionals nor the advice you receive from them.
Never delay seeking advice or dialling emergency services because of something that you have read on HealthUnlocked.
My Mum
How do we escape our neglectful hospital?
My mum has non small cell lung cancer that has spread to the bone in her leg. Has anyone got any information or experience regarding this.
Is No Evidence Of Small Cell Lung Cancer after Three Chemotherapy Cycles a Good Response or the Norm 
