No offer of treatment.: My dear friend... - The Roy Castle Lu...

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No offer of treatment.

Loppydune profile image
7 Replies

My dear friend and colleague was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer in December.

She has had a biopsy and been told there is no treatment available for her. She is just being given pain relief. She did not want to know how long she might have left.

She sleeps most of the day and can't walk from the lounge to the bedroom (on one level) with out assistance.

I didn't think for a second she would be told there were no treatment options at all.

If they really think they can't offer her anything to improve her length/quality of life, surely they can't think she has long?

I don't want to smother her but I feel every visit will be my last.

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Loppydune profile image
Loppydune
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7 Replies

Hi Loppydune

I am so sorry your here and what a lovely friend you are. Is your friend ok with that outcome? As I’ve not heard of it but also am thinking was she offered something but it would only extend life but not give quality?

If your friend is not happy with this outcome she should ask the consultant for a second opinion and should be referred for one. I would ask for one anyway either way just in case there is another option.

Take care xx

Loppydune profile image
Loppydune in reply to Cockailschemocancer

Thank you so much for your reply.

She was told that any treatment wouldn't help and that it would do more harm than good. I don't expect the doctors to work miracles but am in shock that it has got to that stage so quickly.

She is angry but doesn't want to talk to anyone else

She was at work bossing people around 6 weeks ago!

Cockailschemocancer profile image
Cockailschemocancer in reply to Loppydune

if she can she should ask for a second opinion - I have met people that were told 3-6 months to live and are here 6 years later. Different things work for different people xxx

RoyCastleHelpline profile image
RoyCastleHelplinePartnerAsk the NurseRoy Castle

Dear Loppydune

Welcome to the forum and so sorry to hear about your friend, it is understandably difficult and distressing for everyone involved.

If there has been no treatment offered, your friend may wish to consider if there are any clinical trials that she may be eligible for, and this can be discussed with the oncologist or lung cancer nurse specialist. For some people with a late stage diagnosis, and if the cancer is very advanced, having treatment may reduce their quality of life for a short extension of life and this is taken into consideration.

Sometimes radiotherapy can be offered to reduce any pain the person may have, e.g in the back

Everyone is entitled to a second opinion through the NHS and you can find information on this link from Cancer Research UK:cancerresearchuk.org/about-...

As you know, it can be difficult for the person with cancer to explain , or even say out loud, everything that was said to them, therefore you can only go on the information given to you. This can be challenging as you do not know how things will go and what to expect, which can cause anxiety and emotional stress.

Some people with cancer react with anger and can withdraw from those they love. You may find this link from Macmillan support useful: macmillan.org.uk/cancer-inf...

You are welcome to contact us if you would like to discuss anything, our ask the nurse free phone helpline number is 0800 358 7200 Monday to Thursday 0900-1700 and Friday 0900-1600, alternatively you can email us at lungcancerhelp@roycastle.org

Kind regards

The Roy Castle Support Team

JanetteR57 profile image
JanetteR57

That sounds tough for you and your friend... they don't usually give up on patients - even if no active treatment, she is still entitled to supportive/palliative care.

As others have suggested she's also entitled to request a second opinion in the NHS so maybe worth pursuing....

hearing such news can often create shock, depression and result in patients giving up - whereas support should be there to relieve any symptoms, make them comfortable even if not actively being used to treat the cancer itself.

Was she given a lung nurse who she can connect with? This may help answer some questions. good luck to you both. roycastle.org/about-lung-ca...

Keepingstrong profile image
Keepingstrong

Hi there, sorry to hear about your dear friend. My husband is in a similiar situation. They can't do treatments because of a weak heart. We are actually not that disappointed as he has had chemo before and the effects on him were hard and he still has issues. They gave him 4-6 months without treatment and that was almost a year ago. He has lost weight and is weak from the anemia but still gets around pretty good. We are doing natural alternatives and it has helped him feel better in so many ways. We go for walks everday and when we can't we hunker down and watch comedies through the day. It isn't easy but try to get your friend to seek alternative medicine or a second opinion. It took us a while to find a doctor that was open to alternative treatments.Take care xxx

Loppydune profile image
Loppydune

My dear beautiful friend has sadly gone down hill very quickly. She no longer has control of her bodily functions. We found out that the cancer has spread to her brain.

There is still no treatment other than pain relief. She is now bed bound and can bearly speak or move.

I did not expect this to be so quick or so cruel. She has only seen the Paliative care team once. I really feel like noone cares.

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