Some advice on how to approach day to day events whilst going through chemo.

[LewLew19]

So mum has her scan tomorrow and we find out after her next oncologist appointment whether the chemo is working. I’m hopeful and praying that it’s working. She’s not had any further symptoms or worsening of her cough, she’s put on weight and is only dealing with the standard fatigue following treatment.

On Tuesday she has her third chemo treatment and she will again go through the ‘5 day hangover’ as she describes it. It’s hard going. I admire anyone going through this.

So we have a few family events coming up. One being a meal out next Sunday when she might not feel so great. I’m wondering... is it best to make sure we let her know there’s no pressure to come, or she can leave early. Or is it best to carry on, act normal and not let the horrid C take over by no mention of it.

I don’t want her to think we’re not considerate of her and how she’s feeling but, I can imagine it’s frustrating to be constantly reminded of being ill.

Thanks so much x

[Denzie]

Discuss it before hand. Include her, if there’s children she may want to wear a mask when socializing. Let her be the guide. People will be curious about how she is doing. Let her answer for herself, too often we try to protect the patient and diminish what control they do have.

Ask her to set up a password or phrase so she can let you know when it’s time to go without drawing attention to her weaknesses. Sometimes we commit to doing something that will take us a couple days to recover from.

As patients we give up so much. Allow us to make the decisions or choices for ourselves whenever possible.

[LewLew19 in reply to Denzie]

Hi Denzie, thanks for your advice. It’s really hard as family members to know the best approach as the only person we can ask is mum! These forums can be so helpful to ask those stark questions which cannot be so boldly asked day-to-day. Thanks so much x

[Denzie in reply to LewLew19]

It’s an honor to be able to help. My mom was diagnosed with the same lung cancer I now have just about 3 years before me. I understand what you are going through.

[RoyCastleHelpline Partner Ask the Nurse Roy Castle]

Denzie has given you good advice LewLew. I don't know if your mum is able to decide when the best time to have a meal out is, she may prefer earlier in the day or if it is planned for later she may like to have a nap before hand.If she decides to go and is nauseated it might be an idea to take her anti nausea medication before she goes out. Obviously she should avoid being in contact with anyone who has a cold or infection.

Kind regards,

All the team at the Roy Castle helpline.

[rottenrunner]

hi LewLew19 sorry to hear about your mum, but wishing you all the best for the results from the scan, having had chemo and it made me smile seeing the 5 day hangover, that's how I described it, on those 5 days I did very little at first but after the 3rd session we went on a walk a few times but any meals would of been out, but the rest of the time was ok for a meal, as long as the route to the toilet was an easy one, just knowing you can get there if needed is a relief, good luck with this and wishing you, your mum and all your family all the best take care, I get my results this morning, let you know how I get on take care 😊👍❤

[LewLew19 in reply to rottenrunner]

Thanks so much for your kind words of support and advice. It’s so hard to know what is best, whether to ask, or assume all is ok. I’m hoping she will feel well enough to go out, she seems to be in a better mood once she’s off the steroids... it’s the same pattern each time.

All the very best to you, I truly hope you get good results. You’re in my thoughts and I have my fingers and toes crossed. Every positive moment defies the doom you read about this nasty C. I don’t even like to name it now. It doesn’t deserve it Best wishes X

[rottenrunner in reply to LewLew19]

thank you LewLew19 got my results and they found a bit of it hiding away in my rib so a bit of radiotherapy to zap it and should be ok see the doctor again 4-6weeks later not worried by this hope your mum is doing well and wishing you all the best take care and 100% positive 😊👍❤

[LewLew19 in reply to rottenrunner]

Glad to see how positive you are! I think once you accept there will be bumps along the road then everything is easier... hope the treatment goes well and you stay well! X