Rough times

Struggling today folks. Trying to deal with intense anxiety and worry about the future as I try to find a job. Feel weak, mentally and physically. Want to share with my wife but afraid she won't understand. She's been with me 25 years and knows about my anxiety but I don't think she fully understands it yet. I want to just break down and cry but I'm afraid and too full of pride and ego and feel I need to be the strong one. We are both worried about the future as I was let go from my job a month ago. Don't want her to think she needs to be the strong one and I'm weak.

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  • Hello there :-)

    You sticking with this group on here :-D

    You know what you are going to think I am mad but I have been stressing today on putting a few decorations up ! I could cry ! I have ocd due to my anxiety and hate change so there you go what I call high class problems !

    Now , you have been with your wife for 25 years which is a long time and you are a goo actor covering it up from her all this time so she has not seen the full extent on how it affects you but you know what I am not all that strong because of my problems and I have been married for 23 years but if I thought my husband was suffering and he had not told me I would be mortified !

    I would wonder what was wrong with me , where I had gone wrong that he could not confide in me , I would not see it as him trying to be strong I would see it in he felt he could not relay on me when he needed me the most and I would be heart broken , I would want to be there for him and try and give back some of the support that he had always given me , I would be proud that he felt he could tell me and relay on me to support him , do you not think that maybe your wife would feel the same ?

    The marriage vows we take we both say the same , For richer or poorer in sickness and in health , we both make the same commitment to each other don't we ? you have tried to stick to yours why don't you swallow some of that flipping male pride and give your wife a chance to show you she meant those vows when she married you :-)

    You are strong ,why do you think struggling means lack of strength when all it means is you are human ?

    Someone once told me to swallow my pride before it killed me and they were right , look at how you are feeling hanging on to that pride it is doing you know good so why not just give it a go and sit her down and open up to her , if your marriage is based on what it should be she will think no less of you and if anything could make her love you more than she already does :-)

    Times are hard for so many with the job situation , loosing jobs , trying to get a job , my Son was a qualified painter and decorator , he loved painting but could he get a job doing what he loved , no , none out there at the moment , no one has the money like they used to to pay to have decorators in , those that can tend to do their own to save money , so what did he do , he went and got a job caring for disabled people , ok not the most glam or manly job you may think , but it gives him a decent wage every month and he can live , so till something better comes along that is the most important thing and to top that he actually enjoys doing it and gets a lot of satisfaction from it , there is always something , it may not be what we want , but for now it maybe what we have to do

    No one is left without , you will not end up on the streets or homeless , your anxiety might be telling you all these scenarios because it can keep control that way

    If you are struggling to sit down with your wife and tell her have you ever though like you post on here in writing it down and letting her read it , sometimes we can express ourselves better this way

    I am looking forward to you posting soon telling us that you have finally allowed you wife to share a part of you that you have never allowed her to do before and what a relief it is that you have :-) because I think deep down you really want to you just need that support and encouragement and I am sure maybe not so much on this Community as it is quiet but on the Anxiety Communities everyone will give you that :-)

    Take Care x

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