I can't live with myself for what I've done. I've probably scarred for life my tiny 6 month old baby granddaughter's leg. I can't get her scream out of my head. I so wish it had been me that the water spilled on, even if it had been all down my face I would rather that than have what happened. I moved right across the country with the sole purpose of looking after her when her mother goes back to work in April. I've had her nearly every day. She's got used to me, smiled when she sees me, we've had such loving grandma/granddaughter times. I'd taken her to a little playgroup last week for the under ones and she had probably the nicest afternoon she's ever had with me. Before going back to her mum I thought I'd give her a bottle and went into Waitrose café to get a thermos flask of hot water to heat up her bottle. The café assistant filled up a thermos flask with boiling water, and put that into a jug and screwed the jug lid on. Then I did the most insane thing I've ever done in my life and put the unit on the buggy top whilst I pushed the heavy buggy to the table. The water must have come pouring out because in 10 seconds the baby started to scream an unearthly scream. I took her out not knowing why she was screaming, her little tights were wet, I pulled them off and saw all the skin peeled off on the inside of her right thigh. I ran to the kitchen, baby's leg was held under the cold tap, every member of staff at Waitrose seemed to be around me, the paramedics came, baby just screamed and screamed and screamed. After 20 minutes in the cold water, the leg was put in clingfilm and the paramedics put the blue light on the ambulance and we were rushed to And E. From A and E we had to go to the Burns Unit. My daughter, the baby's mother, was as white as a sheet, ordered me to go, wouldn't let me kiss the baby's head, told me I would never ever see the baby again. The baby had to have a general anaesthetic the next morning and a skin graft is 50/50 depending if the area gets any worse. My daughter texted me to say everyone thinks I am insane for putting the unit on top of the buggy. Her last text three days ago said "I hate you so much. You did this. YOU! You'll never see the baby agaIn - EVER. You have scarred her leg for life. I HATE YOU!". I can't live with myself for what I've done. I never gave the thought the thermos flask would leak a second thought. The boiling water was inside the thermos flask which was inside another unit with another screwed-on cap. I just had to write all this down on here, I cant sleep for hearing that scream. I think it will haunt me to the day I die. I know it's all my fault and that is killing me. I just never thought. I am so stupid. Insane. I love that baby and would give my life for her.
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