Pictures & ICU

[Beachbebe]

A few months ago I went into septic shock and was put on the vent for 11 days. My daughter snapped one picture of me on the vent. I am so glad she did. I wish she had take more. I have no memory of going on or being on the vent so I am still learning the timeline of events. It’s really hard to grasp that for days my family nor the doctors thought I would pull thru. But, I have no memory of anything past going to the hospital ER & being admitted on June 16th. I had alot of hallucinations while on the vent. Only knew my daughter was there when I would wake up here and there briefly. I think picture are good when the patient controls who sees it or doesn’t mind if it’s shown. I haven’t shown many people the picture but some close friends & family.

[FamilyHistorian]

I have a few photographs and these are very important to me. I am happy to share these as they explain so much they say a picture is worth 1000 words. You can see some of them in some of my posts on this forum.

I didn’t have an icu diary but I have a copy of 2 what’s app group conversations which covered my time from Dec ‘19 until March ‘20. Also I have a complete record from the hospital. It took me a while before I could face reading them and then took them a day at a time.

I have completely lost 3 months of memory from before going into icu and I have no memory of the time I was in the coma. My hallucinations, on the other hand, remain very clear as I lived in another reality and they don’t cause me any problems now. My emotional barriers have gone completely and my brain doesn’t control my mouth

[tapir2020]

There’s one pic of me in ICU; it helps me to make my time there real in my mind and to celebrate my recovery now: this is how you were; and this is how I am now. I know that won’t work for everyone.

[CLM68]

My family were not allowed to take any photos of me when I was in a coma in intensive care and I regret that they were stopped although I do understand why. Other people had previously been going in to see a family member/friend, taking photos and then plastering them all over social media without gaining any consent from the patients...one of whom then tried to sue the hospital! So, because of those few a***holes, I have never been able to visualize exactly what happened to me.

[Sepsur]

I had a few shots of me in ICU in a coma and afterwards as I started to recover. They didn’t resemble me - even the ‘fella’ unconscious- they were a bad pastiche of me - it took me so long to emotionally connect with those photos - in no small part because my coma wasn’t static ( for me) - I was incredibly active ( in my head obviously)

[stevet11753]

I don't think taking photographs was allowed where I was in ICU. I have family descriptions and they pique my curiosity, but I'm not sure if seeing myself would be helpful.

[sy_n]

i found it extremely helpful to see photos and a video of all 11 machines and tubes i was attached to while in the ICU - drug induced coma and intubated for 2 weeks. my last memory was being at home, handing my daughter my cell phone with my doc's contact # on the screen (because like an idiot, i had him under D for doctor...).

additionally, my daughter went into shock and suffered PTSD from having to call 911, seeing me stop breathing about 5 seconds after the paramedics arrived as i was talking to them, watching them do CPR for 6 minutes before loading me in the MedicOne van.

to this day, she has blocked that event - so she cannot tell me what happened after i handed her the phone, except that there were maybe 10 paramedics in the house, my heart stopped 2 more times in the ER...

she's had to do therapy, PT (her neck and chest would cramp with panic attacks) and was on antidepressants for 3 years (now off!)... but she still can't (or won't) remember. my husband took a video scanning the machinery surrounding me, all the tubes, etc... i found watching the video helpful (and CREEPY, actually) to understand what it owas like for THEM, not knowing if i was going to make it or not.

we were all creeped out in the past now almost 3 years of COVID and have been staying home mostly, masked always and generally staying aw ay from crowds still... i do not want to end up with ARDS ever, ever again. i am certain i won't survive it the next time...

stay safe everyone! even tho COVID has eased somewhat, there are still new (scrabble variants, they call them?) variants and they don't know what effect these will have or how well the vaccines and boosters will protect, if at all.

[Hidden]

I have a couple of pictures, the best being in the ICU garden with a lot of tubes coming out or going into me. My son thought I looked like the leader of the darleks.

[SD1965]

my wife was 19 days on the vent in December last year. She often says she wishes I had taken a photo of her, to make it more real for her. At the time, I was only allowed to see her because they didn’t think she’d pull through. Taking a photo was the last thing on my mind. It was another 12 days before I was allowed to see her again. I still didn’t think to take a photo.

[Beanyynwa]

Hi Beachbebe, So glad you survived your illness and the trauma and roller coaster that entails. My sister was in ICU on a ventilator and induced coma for 52 days last year followed by a 5 month stay in hospital.

During her time in ICU, I kept a dairy with daily entries about her condition and significant events in our family and the world. She is slowly reading this with her therapist to help her work through the psychological trauma and PTSD. She has retained the texts we sent each other over the few hours before she went into the coma which is good because she recalls nothing about the fews days before.

I took photos of this time but she cannot look at the ones of when she was in the coma as it is too early and distressing to do so. She would not want me to show these to anyone especially as unlike some people who lose lots of weight, she was bloated.

We celebrated my sister's 56 birthday in ICU with once she was better. We thought she was aware at the time of what was going on the party we had, the cakes, music etc as she had her eyes open and seemed responsive but she cannot recall anything. She likes looking at the photos we took and we have kept momentos including her deflated helium balloons.

We laugh because we had put banners all around her ICU room without realising that they glowed in the dark. She was often having terrifying delusions and nightmares but on the night of her birthday she saw glowing fairies 🧚‍♀️ all round her which made her feel safe and happy.

I wish you well in your recovery and lots joy and adventures going forward. You are a survivor. 🥰👏💓