Hospital Records

[Phil112]

Hi Bill and everyone. I noted from the Post left by Haly from Canada that she got hold of the medical records whilst in ICU. Does anyone know if that is possible to do in the UK. I know from the past that reading things about me, not necessarily medical, it has helped me along. I, like many of you am just a year out of ICU  AMD the past two weeks have been horrendous. All the usual useless, suicidal, low feelings etc just all came at once. I am just starting to come out of it today but as everyone has said to me on this site a year is still early days but still hard to understand any of it. Having heard that a former Traffic Department friend is dying of cancer really devastated as those days were so precious memories for me. I even thought if I could I would swap places with him as he has so much to live  for having just had his first grandchild born and will not live to see him grow up. I just feel life is just so unfair. The only help I get is my Psychologist who I see once a  week but will miss two weeks due to holidays. Other than that I get no help and feel I am slipping back again. Writing my daily diary as suggested by my Psychologist does seem to help- as do reading the postings from all you wonderful survivors out there.

Best wishes

Phil 

[Luckyone]

Hi Phil,

Firstly let me say how sorry I am to hear the news about your friend, I know from personal experience how devastating cancer is, I lost my father aged 53 on my 18th birthday and my 3 sisters at 25yrs old, 43yrs old and 51yrs old something I've always thought was so unfair.

I had my first grandchild in 2013 so can understand your thoughts of your friend not being there to see it grow up.

You can get all your hospital medical records from the PAL office at the hospital and I believe it's still a maximum charge of £50.00

Phil you have my number and are always welcome to phone for a chat at any time if it will help, I know how it feels to feel so low and ask yourself why did I survive when others are not so lucky, believe me thankfully things do get better with time and the bad memories fade, I found rekindling my love of photography while walking my dog in the countryside park I live next to was a great therapy in my recovery, that along with my involvement with ICUsteps has made me realise how really lucky we all are here in this wonderful community to be here to support each other through the difficult times.

Always here to help.

Bill    

[Phil112 in reply to Luckyone]

Thank you so much for that. I feel a little better

[muncii]

Dear Phil112 - I'm so sorry you are feeling very low, and as you say, your friend's terminal illness is an extra blow for you at this time. 

I hope the comments here at ICU steps are helpful, especially regards the post-ICU period and recovery. You may have gathered that the common theme is 'it takes time' !

Whilst it's natural for us to want to understand and 'make sense of' our experience as an ICU patient, I think this may be a long-term project (at least, for me) and I'm not even sure it will ever be possible for me to totally make sense of it to the extent that I can 'put it all to bed and forget it' Nor, in a curious way, do I want to: having been an ICU patient and very near death has, peculiarly, become part of my identity.

ICU is such an extreme experience.  I have been surprised at how some of my friends - intelligent, kind, people, - have been unable to imagine and empathise with what I went through, during, and after , ICU. I suspect that many health care professionals can't imagine it either.

I'm glad your Psychologist is helpful, and I think writing a daily diary is a good idea. Ditto getting your hospital records. Perhaps it would be a good idea to focus on getting physically and emotionally stronger, little by little, and being kind to yourself, rather than attempting a big project like 'making sense of it all' at the present time? ! in a couple of years, you may be in a better position to reflect and put things into perspective.

with very best wishes