HIV Partners
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At a loss

I was diagnosed 2 1/2 years ago when I became seriously ill. It has left me disabled and now I feel I have no purpose. Not working is seriously getting me down. I am a professional person and I feel lost. I have close family and my friends have their lives to lead. What do people do? I'm back at uni but this is not floating my boat, I do volunteering, but still I feel empty.


11 Replies

Hoes u today


I'm no hoe lol just very very bored

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Howa things


Hello David Thomas,

Day time telly's not doing it then?

Sounds like your still adjusting...

Thought I would say hi and hang on in there.


Hi David that sounds like an extremely traumatic series of events you've been through and I can't even begin to imagine how that has felt. Again this is coming from someone without such experience but my suggestion would be trying to find a role model or mentor you admire. Someone who has had a similar situation or worse but yet who has fought through.

I know a guy who recently had his leg amputated due to illness and his character is extremely determined and always has been. He has adapted and continued with life is such an impressive way. I often think if something bad happens to me I want to do what he does. I'd like to seek him out and learn what drives him.

Do you know anyone you admire in this way who you can lean from and be infected by their determination? If not do the nurses assisting your rehabilitation know of people they are inspired by they could introduce you to? In many ways this is simply what you might do in a career when you find a mentor to help you achieve or guy at the gym you befriend so that you can learn from and be inspired.

Again I have no experience of such things that you've been through but I'd like to think this would be my strategy for coping. Hope I've not said anything offensive in all of this.

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Dear David , Im very confident you will win this battle , if you want we can talck more at my address, Im a professional too and know how you feel.



Reading between the lines - you already seem to know what the problems are. So something tells me you also know what you need to do.

The difficulty that we all face, irrespective of status, is how we fill the time we have on this little rock flying around insignificantly in the vastness of space.

Without knowing the extent of your medical situation and subsequent disability it would be wrong of me to generalise or give you the 'don't worry, it will get better' line of reply. Sometimes it doesnt get better! Some of us need to feel we have a purpose - Jeremy Kyle and This Morning not being everyones cup of Earl Grey and buying houses to refurbish a fantasy too far when you are on a limited income or relying on benefits.

Have you been forced to change your career? Have you set yourself any new goals? Are your skills transferable?

Being 'lost' is something that I have experienced several times. I understand your frustrations and would like to help if I can in any way. And you have found this forum of some wonderful people who have been where you are now. You are not alone!

Lets see if we cant help get you back on track, David.

(Message me privately if you prefer)



Hello David, reading your post was a little like reading about myself. I was diagnosed 5yrs ago and was in a coma for 2 months. I was left disabled and without a career and also tried going back to uni. I don't yet have answers to why I feel like yourself but it can only help to talk about it. Feel free to message me if you would like to chat.

Best wishes



Hi David - being diagnosed with HIV has been likened to going through a grieving process for the life you imagined for yourself and is now not going to be like that. Have you got access to any counselling?


I do see a counsellor but not for hiv. I may look into this thanks.


I had a great councillor at the RVI specifically dealing with u receive treatment there perhaps they can refer u


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