Moving Much Further Forward by Slowing Right Down.

[kjg001]

OK, It might sound like an odd title, but today shortly after my doctors appointment I came to a realisation, I need to stop and think.

I have had a potentially fatal SAH Haemorrhage (grade 4), I had a successful operation and spent a month in hospital and have spent a month at home and had some success in a recovery physically.

I have mild issues with the following.

Verbal and written communication

Mobility

I have more severe issues with the following.

Managing my thought processes

Mental Health

If I was to rush back to work for financial reasons, one of a number of things will happen.

I will injure myself or someone else

I will make a mistake and be dismissed

If I sit back and take stock of the situation, this is what I need to do, for me and all those around me.

Accept I am not fit for work and accept help and possibly funding from Social Services, apply for disability benefit until the disability has been either reduced down to something manageable where I and others around me would be safe or has gone.

So Social Services will be contacting me later to carry out an assessment, The citizens Advice Bureau will be calling in on me to assist with the relevant form filling and any other help I need to secure to help me with my disability. My doctor has referred me for a Neuropsychologist and I am going to fight for my right to a full recovery instead of fighting the disability and pushing myself into places that at the moment are not best nor practical.

It has been agreed that I can make some changes to my medication, reducing some and only taking others when needed rather than regular and remaining on some for now. The most important one I am cutting down has a side effect that plays havoc with your memory, so that is going, It is the last thing I need when trying to get over this whole ordeal.

I think that this is seriously the first time I have really assessed the situation properly and taken stock of it all and it has left me looking forward to a full recovery (if full is possible, I am aware I may only get partial) and been realistic.

I would like to thank everyone who has helped me on these threads and my local Headway, Lisa has been amazing in helping me, and I think if it were not for her, I would never have had this realisation.

[Hidden]

Hi kyg001,

Hope you are ok?

I think you have a really sorted plan, that is brilliant.

After by RTA and tbi last July I was desperately trying to get back to work at the beginning of September. Many things conspired against me doing this and by January I was so severley stressed with trying to enter the "normal" world again, I was taken back into hospital because they thought I had, had a further bleed. It was that point I realised that I was going to have to take it slow. My doctor had been trying to tell me this, but I was convinced I was ok and could carry on regardless.

So I suppose what I am trying to stay it is important that you put you and your recovery first, which will take some time, but in the long term will get you better quicker. Money and work is the scary bit, but it will sort and you will be ok. And just think every day when you wake up and see your lovely husband you should be very proud of your self, you have survived and have come a long way. With time and patience (some thing I am still working on), it will become even better.

Good luck.

ps. one thing people keep telling me is to keep a dairy, even if it a few short lines each day.

[bikerlifestyle]

its one we have all had to make, and its a tough one, but its the right one.

we have to put ourselves first at some point.

i hated the thought of being on benefits as i had always worked, but needs are needs and you know what, i am not a scrounger, i have always worked. so there is no shame in it

[Pazstan]

Well done, you sound like you understand your situation well, and you are absolutely right about not rushing back to work. Slowing down in the immediate term will be more beneficial. It has been a very short time for you and it really sounds like you are doing quite well so I wish you all the best, be patient and keep us updated.

Paula

[kjg001]

Thank you everyone, it is partially down to the advice on the forums and talking with you guys that I have been able to sit back and see the bigger picture. It is one thing hearing it from partners, loved ones and professionals, but once you hear it from people who were once in a place you are now, you truly know it is the best thing for you, your recovery and your future.

I have the CAB appointment and will be visited, I need to get the DLA forms (Do not know where from but will ask for those in a moment) Social Services will be doing a telephone assessment on me, I hope to get funding to attend my local headway once or twice a week, the balls are rolling on the Neuropsychologist and while this is all happening, I just have to look after me.

[at-spes-non-fracta]

Hi Karl,

Well, I wish I had thought of such a well reasoned plan at the time of my injury. Foolishly, and against doctors orders, I was out of hospital end of October and back at work on a part time basis by the first working day of January. Luckily my employers were really supportive, but it was a highly pressurised environment and I really couldn't cut it. I chopped and changed employers for a while before holding a job for a couple of years leading to a breakdown in 2000. I have not worked since, until I recently started two mornings per week in a charity shop, which gives me some hope that I can build myself up again.

Good luck with the Headway funding because their service has proved to be incredibly supportive, understanding, and inspirational to me.

[kjg001]

I can fully understand the rushing back to work, I so wanted this to start, but thinking about it, I want to get better too and to giving myself the best chance might mean I have some time off. Good luck with your introduction back into work.

I hope I get funding, I am unsure of the associated costs with attending a local headway group, Social Services have asked but I have no idea, I am awaiting them posting me some information.

[Lubilu01]

Well done, there is no need to push yourself into a stressful environment just yet, take time to recover and try to rest if you can. We are our own worst enemies at times, fighting against what our bodies are telling us!

[cat3]

Been out all day & just got home (10pm) and spotted your post. Thank heavens you're back in control of your situation...you sound so positive and organised....really got things moving.

Well done,Karl and please don't ever feel the need to apologise for your decisions.....they are what you NEED, what you are ENTITLED to, and what are RECCOMMENDED by your doctors. Stay strong. cat xx

[lissaip]

Hi, when I came out of my coma and could talk again one of the first things I said was "when can I go back to work". I had planned to go back on 1st July (that is what I told my boss) well that did not happen. It took me 6 1/2 months to realise what had happened to me and that I should take it slow and not rush back well I am still not back at work yet and it has been over 14 months now. I started doing some courses at my local adult learning center (just to prove to myself that I could). Still doing 2 of them as finished the Ecdl early. So what I am trying to say is there is no rush, I still have no idea when I will be going back. Take care and take it easy.

Melissa

[kjg001]

I just think it was silly of me to have such optimistic time scales. But I do believe my recovery will enable me back to work, it is just patience. And recovery cam be boring.

[vwvanman]

The first thing my wife said when she came out of her coma was " were the ++++ am I".After six months in rehab she came home and with the help of a great team she has taken life by the scruff of the neck , It is a really slow process but I have watched in awe as her brain rewired itself , we still have to push her as her motivational drive is no more ,even if it means falling out with the Doctors (they don't live the diagnosis). loose yourself in a hobby or a distraction anything to beat boredom , Have a break if only for a weekend , It does get easier especially with a sense of humour,

[crissy4361]

Well done, I wish i'd had that realisation, I rushed back to work and struggled, I gave up my management position and went part time however I'm still finding it tough going. My advice to anyone now is not to do anything your not ready for.

Good luck