Longing for Summer

Latest blog from: hopegoesupanddown.blogspot.com - a record of the hope, terror and unknown future faced when the one you love most in the world suffers a brain injury.

It has been a week of decidedly mixed feelings; last Monday's joy at the news of 'that woman's' change in plea has been tainted by the reality that justice amounts to just 6 points on her license, £545 in fees and costs and increased insurance premiums.

I completely realise we are very lucky to have the opportunity to pursue a claim and there are a many thousands of people who have to adjust to a life utterly changed by a brain injury without this opportunity. I get that our focus should be on the outcome of the civil case and this is just a stage in that journey, but this sentencing outcome has left me feeling decidedly flat.

Flat, that pretty much captures how I'm feeling about the whole legal and financial side of things at the moment. There's only so much drawn out angst, uncertainty and lost sleep you can experience before it accumulates and develops into drama fatigue. I'm exhausted by it all and wish I could turn the volume down on these feelings for a while.

I long for the Summer, when my Jake will be home based most of the time, we can establish some kind of routine for the future and hopefully liability will be agreed meaning I can stop obsessing about running out of money.

Of course, the sun will also be shining; always a bonus when you live close to the beach and have a South facing garden with a large sun deck!

Oh well, if I can survive the last 15 months, I can probably hold out for a few more.

The good news is that Jake seems to be settling into the student house really well and I'm loving how close to home he is; today I was at a meeting in the next town and surprised him by popping in for a cuddle on the way home. This would not have been possible at the rehab hotel and is very good for morale all round. The student house team are introducing a new bi-weekly schedule which varies home visit days and times to support Jake in becoming more comfortable with flexibility and also, along with some additional weekend carer support, to give me some more playing out time. Playing out plans are in place for Friday night, so hurrah for the student house!

In other news, Jake and I had our first outburst-free weekend. There were a couple of close calls, but we were both aware it was happening and worked really well together to let things settle. This feels like a massive step forwards and, although I know that it will not always be that easy, it gives me real hope for the future.

So, some good stuff and some 'meh' stuff. A bit like 'normal' life I suppose.

hopegoesupanddown.blogspot.com

9 Replies

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  • i hope all is ok and have a grt time frdy

  • I will! Thanks :)

  • You may be feeling a bit overwhelmed and flattened by all the legal hoo-hah , and who wouldn't be- that stuff is totally draining...but your posts beams positivity too. Surprise cuddles and outburst free weekends are to be celebrated ...and would def go in my blessings jar ;-)

  • I'm really trying to stay positive! Financial Deputy visiting today, so hopefully I feel more in control tomorrow :)

  • Hi, I have made myself a 'blessings jar' thank you, Linda x

  • I agree,( with Iforgets comment) I for one have started to look forward to reading how things are as I struggle to cope with how our lives have completely turned upside down and landed the wrong way. Best wishes to you

  • I love that 'landed the wrong way' image; it describes this experience perfectly! Thank you for reading :)

  • Charlie I'm sorry for the horrible bits of last week but you are amazing in your outlook, you could do no more for jake, it's shows just how deep your love goes

    Give yourself a big hug from me, take care, Linda xx

  • I got to the point where i just wanted to walk away from all the claim stuff. I didnt give a rata ass anyway as i wasnt really aware of the implications. I just know it was so maddening not being able to just forget about them. We did lose everything material on our way, it took 2 yrs for the liability to be agreed and 7 ys for the case to be concluded. It seems to last forever and the hoops seemed to be harde and more disruptive to jump through. I hate crowds and noise and i cant do unfamiliar places because i get lost and im not aware im lost, if that makes any sense. I ended up in London twice in two years for the legal stuff at the end. It was a nightmare.

    Hold on in there because it is worth it in the end. I wanted to walk away so many times but everyone told me to stick in. so i did!

    Glad to hear everything is all well in the student house, sounds like another positive step forward.

    You need a medal for all the hard work that you have done and will do in the future, my other half has put up with a rapidly changing temperament and then me swearing black was white and that i had done/said something and that he was in the wrong. Poor bloke. 8 years on and no sign of him doing a runner yet.

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