Lucky me: Latest blog from: hopegoesupanddown... - Headway


7,945 members10,420 posts

Lucky me


Latest blog from: a record of the hope, terror and unknown future faced when the one you love most in the world suffers brain injury.

Two years, five months and nine days ago Jake was hit by a car cycling to work. The driver wasn't paying attention, failed to give way and pulled onto the roundabout into Jake's path. The consequences of this moment of inattention have been devastating, far reaching and our lives will never, ever be the same. I have woken each morning after that day fearfully wondering what our future will hold.

It took 14 months to get a criminal conviction and yesterday saw the conclusion of the civil case with an approval hearing at the Royal Courts of Justice; essentially a rubber stamping of the settlement agreed in December.

To be 100% clear; settlements of this kind are designed to meet the ongoing care, therapy and day to days needs of the injured victim to attempt to give them some quality of life that reflects life before the injury. We have not won the lottery folks.

That said, this morning I feel very, very lucky and am pleased to say that I slept, undisturbed through the night; a very rare thing indeed.

I say I feel lucky because I am very aware that things could have been so very, very different. I say I feel lucky for two reasons (you'll notice I say 'I'; I don't recommend suggesting to Jake that he is lucky).

Firstly, I am lucky because of all the people and families living with a brain injury for whom a settlement of this kind has never been an option. The Headway website states that there are at least 1 million people in the UK living with the long term effects of brain injury. The majority of these are most likely to be surviving on benefits against an uncertain backdrop of sweeping changes to the benefits system.

Secondly, I am lucky because of the continuing and mistifyingly awesome improvements that Jake continues to make long after the collective accepted wisdom confidently states it should have slowed or even stopped. His psychologist told me this week that she would put no limits on what he could achieve. Ha!

So this morning I awoke not fearfully, but hopefully wondering what the future will hold; how lucky is that?

10 Replies

I am so pleased for you, hopefully you will have some peace of mind financially, it helps to take that burden off your shoulders. I too am lucky, for it was me not my husband who is the sufferer so he is still able to be the breadwinner, with my works pension and benefit I still have a little coming in so do still have some independence in that department.

I know we would still like to turn the clock back to our old lives but this is how it now is, so good luck, I'm sure Jake will continue to make improvements, I'm determined I will also.

You have been a rock for the both of you, you deserve to have some peace now xxxxx Janet

Thanks Janet x

great news! hopefully peace of mind hopefully, hope Jake countinues to suprise.

Definitely lots of hope :)

Your posts are so emotive & addictive. Please Charlie, one day, string them all together for editing required. I mean, this is how to give hope to others who feel floored by your situation and can't imagine any kind of future; you are so, so inspirational.

I probably won't give up 'til you at least say you'll think about it..............say in 10 year's time ? :-/

Anyway this latest bulletin is great news. It's interesting how our minds are constantly on alert when we have an issue hanging over us then, when it's finally resolved, we're allowed some quality sleep. Like Janet says, you really deserve some peace of mind after your long fight, so sleep well and live well & I hope Jake continues to surprise everyone with his amazing recovery. Cat x

Dorsetcharlie in reply to cat3

Thank you for your kind words Cat.

You'll be pleased to hear that I went back to bed and slept a few hours more!

I promise to think about it eventually...maybe ;)

Charlie x

Lucky to still have Jake by your side.

I am glad to hear you have had some closure and you are looking towards the future with a more positive outlook.

Having a loving partner I think helps with rebuilding the brain connections. Without the love of my partner I would never have survived or got this far.

Love is an amazing healing force.

You are lucky to have each other.

That's nice.

It's certainly is healing and we are very lucky to have each other :)

Hurray! Happy for you both. Wonderful and encouraging to hear of Jake's improvements. All the best to you both, and sleep tight. :)

what a lovely inspiring addendum thus far to your posts DorsetCharlie and It's obvious no one begrudges or thinks that legal judgements or money will buy back what Jake, you and your family lost when the accident happened.

I add my good wishes and support to you all, continued good luck and Jakes continuing improvements. Dors Bien [sleep well] du moi en France. Shirley xxxxx

You may also like...