am i selfish or pig headed

i am confused usually the most generous of persons today sunday i must admit to feeling a wee bit guilty about the way i acted this morning i suffered a sah in 2007 which has left me disabled i rely on a stick to walk with and totally unemployable - i get tired far to easily to hold down a job but in the 80s i was fortunate to have played rugby for london irish and surrey a sport i was good at and love not being able to play again i do assist with the coaching of the youth side at rye in sussex every sunday i havent been for a few weeks as a comination of lack of funds a family lunch and a friends death being the reasons on saturday night i received a phone call from a lad i coach "mr murphy please are you comming tomorrow we have a big match next week that i ( he) want to be selected for and whenever you are there and tell me what to do i play well" touching and rewarding i promised if the weather i,e no rain i would be there

for the last few days not needing my car i lent it to a friend from whom i needed the car at 8.30 allowing me time to get to rye at 10

this morning i was stresssed to leave on time it was cold my carers are no longer allowed to walk me anywhere and not willing to trust this friend to get me into the car i presumed he would just put the key through my letterbox i managed to persuade my carer to leave me at the local cafe ready for the arrival of my car time now 7.30 and cold very cold my funds were limited i anticipated although i had petrol in my car 50 miles worth it would be returned with 0 miles at the cafe i was asked a few times to loan for a cofee and a sarnie by 2 persons i refused as they had loaned me before i tried to explain but felt awful all the time getting more angry about the lack of my car it eventually arrived at 9 with only 5 miles of fuel a return trip to rye is £30 in fuel i set off desperate to be there by 10 i eventually arrived at 10.20 did my bit all i do as i xcan only sit and speak is to emphasis individual skills and tips body position etc the lads reacted well doing everything perfectly after 3 hours i was cold and despite an invite to stay i left was i mean or ungrateful to persons who have helped me out to refuse them this morning as it turned out i could have done with the money i have left when i returned

2 Replies

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  • Your actions have labelled you as neither. SAH or not you have done more than most people would in giving up your time and money for a cause which you have experience in. You met you promises to attend and the team benefits. Pig headed /selfish would be " bugger that, I don't like going, I get nothing from it and its a cold Sunday so I am staying in bed". "I don't like em anyway".

  • thank you all the reward i need is the smile on the kids faces when running with the ball enjoying a great sport and a thumping win next sunday neil

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