motivation

[B17D]

hi everyone

just wondering if anyone has any help for motivation during rehab?

My partner is still in rehabilitation, and is still making progress. However, understandably, he gets very frustrated being so dependant on carers and not being able to do things he used to do. He will become agitated when carers try to help and will only be okay with me helping, which I do when I can but am not with him 24/7.

we do a lot of things socially, going out to places, home visits etc. but for the past couple of months he is struggling with motivation for physio, as well as becoming quite withdrawn and not wanting to leave his room so much.

I can only imagine how he’s feeling, and I know that to have the strength to continue rehab takes huge commitment and it is a long journey. But is there anyone who has gone through this themselves or with someone else who can give any ideas on how I can support him and get his motivation back.

The therapists have said if he could get past this barrier and put his efforts into the therapy rather than the frustration there is so much potential, we just need to find a way past this hurdle.

Any help or experiences would be greatly appreciated

[James1984]

For me it wasn't just the frustration of recovery, it was the fact that processing and expressing my thoughts was so overwhelming, especially when I was feeling frustrated. What worked best for me was having short-periods of physical therapy along with time spent out in nature without the over-stimulation of noise/things happening around me.

Recovery is a long-term thing, so it needs to worked on regularly to get the most benefit. Don't avoid it, just work on it consistently.

[B17D in reply to James1984]

Thanks for this that’s really helpful. Definitley the communicating his thoughts part is a huge part of it. He is verbal but limited at the moment so that becomes more frustrating for him as well.

He did used to love going outside as well, but the past couple of months just doesn’t want to leave his room

[PurpleOverlord]

Back in the early days of rehab, the key I used was "Ooh, this made me smile, I should definitely do it more often". As simple as that. Getting out in nature made me smile, so now I do that as often as possible. Stopping for a minute with the wind in my face and the branches overhead.

Though not today! It's freezing out there, so no stopping with the wind in my face!

[B17D in reply to PurpleOverlord]

Thanks for the reply!

He really enjoyed going outside a couple months ago but lately has become very withdrawn now wanting to leave his room.

He moved to a new facility closer to home so I do think there’s some anxiety with this. Hopefully as the weather gets warmer he’ll want to go out more again

[WonderingWanda]

if you listen to the neuroscientist called Huberman on his podcasts or YouTube you may find help. I did.

Apparently the frustration at being unable to do something is a good thing as it allows the brain to put some kind of marker on the nerve cells there for later change. During deep rest the brain rewiring occurs and not while we are trying to do the thing that we are struggling with. The frustration is a good thing as it lets the brain later rewire that area. It takes place over a period of time obviously, but when the goal is achieved there is a release of dopamine that is the feeling of satisfaction and pleasure at managing to do it at last. This promotes the next step to work on and very slowly progress is made.

Just knowing this has helped me enormously as I no longer view frustration as the enemy but have in the back of my mind that it’s a good thing and might allow me to press on to achieve my next step.

It sounds like not much but when you can reframe a negative as a positive it makes each step more positive. Good luck

[B17D in reply to WonderingWanda]

Hi! Thanks for your reply. That is really helpful information, I will definitely give the next podcast a listen.

[sashaming1]

maybe headwayuk.com can help.

[ghost_writer]

Going through rehab is not easy and I wish you all the best. Here are some suggestions about some things that I found useful:

1- Try to get offline /go out in nature from time to time, even if it is just a 30 minute walk

2- Get creative: That could be through arts and crafts, creative writing, poetry, etc. I am a writer, so sometimes when I write, I feel almost feel like I get “sucked into” my writing as it is quite absorbing

3- Give lots of encouragement: It is amazing how a few good words can make a big difference. That does not mean lying or flattering, but trying to find something positive, even if it is small and showing it in a positive light. For various reasons, I did not get much positive feedback on anything and eventually believed that I was “stupid”; seeing positive feedback from my wife, even very small, made a world of difference for me.

4- Take time: There are good days and bad days, so try to be patient

5- Spend time with people who are positive and non judgemental: When feeling low, having others who are quick to make judgements and blame can make things far worse. Try to avoid those people and avoid discussions of the treatment /the problems.

6- Touch: Sometimes a hug or holding hand, etc. from a loved one can be comforting

I hope that is useful. Just to add to that, you might want to be careful to avoid being in the room /indoors all the time as that could potentially lead to depression and even larger problems. All the best

[B17D in reply to ghost_writer]

Hi, thanks for the reply. That is really useful information. Although he gets nervous leaving the room he does settle somewhere else once arrived, and hopefully the more we persevere the easier it will become.