Did you become Mr, Miss, Ms or Mrs Bloggs or never... - Headway

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Did you become Mr, Miss, Ms or Mrs Bloggs or never get there.

Trevor78 profile image
10 Replies

45 years since injury and early retired I'm now struggling more than ever in isolation and with that internal fight of never accepting Mr Bloggs. It's a daily battle of what's the point and the end game?

A Reuters article on Michael Schumacher pretty well sums it up for me:

"If Schumacher survives he will not be Schumacher. He will be (Mr.) Bloggs. And his rehabilitation will only be effective if he comes to terms with being Bloggs - and fulfils what Bloggs can do," said Richard Greenwood, a consultant neurologist at London's Homerton Hospital and at the National Hospital for Neurology and Neurosurgery.

"That's a very, very difficult process to take people through - and many people don't achieve it." - i didn't! 😧

reuters.com/article/idUSBRE... - it's not a particularly pleasant read IMHO (nothing really bad just challenging detail) so be aware if you choose to go there.

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Trevor78 profile image
Trevor78
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cat3 profile image
cat3

Phew... Mr. Greenwood doesn't pull punches does he Trevor.

It feels uncomfortable typing the truth ; OK I am Ms. Bloggs. 🙄

But in my head and heart I'm still that energetic, creative and outgoing soul from pre-2012.

Ms Bloggs needs a cuppa now ....and something sweet !

x

Trevor78 profile image
Trevor78 in reply tocat3

And that piece is 10 years old and I suspect nothing much has changed.

I particularly relate to this part, as I suspect many others do as well:

Seena Fazel of Oxford University's Department of Psychiatry said “current guidelines do not recommend assessments of mental health or suicide risk in TBI patients, but focus instead on short-term survival.

"Looking at these findings, it may make more sense to treat some TBI patients as suffering from a chronic problem requiring longer-term management just like epilepsy or diabetes," he said. "TBI survivors should be monitored carefully for signs of depression, substance abuse and other psychiatric disorders, which are all treatable conditions."

Once the initial crisis has passed to hopefully a reasonable outcome then it's all uphill from there long-term for the head injured individual. Fortunately I had an excellent GP (from the time when you could see your chosen doctor at short notice) and have had, and still do, issues with depression, alcohol abuse (although I stopped drinking a decade ago) and other mental health issues; all pretty much ignored and self treated.

cat3 profile image
cat3 in reply toTrevor78

No, nothing's changed. And no amount of research can translate into treatment for the Bloggs's until governments start funding it adequately, along with the failing NHS ......bit of a sore point for me 😠

Keep putting one foot in front of the other Trevor ...albeit uphill. x

Leaf100 profile image
Leaf100

Well, I don't care what some tosser has to say.Inside of this body looking out of these eyes I am still me.

Sure, I had the life path I was on totally changed, I may look to the world more like Blogs, if all they look at is me not being able to work again, etc etc.

But that is all so shallow.

I have developed different skills and attributes of myself , that I likely would not have developed otherwise.

In many ways I am wiser - and not just because I know other people think and feel differently from me - not just intellectually- but by experience- I've lived it. I have also witnessed many times how people , even when they aren't functioning that well- still value kindness , and have compassion for themselves and others - maybe more so now because they get how much that matters - more than if you are Mr Suit in a Mercedes.

It's too bad the world in general goes by so fast and does not really appreciate us - they are missing out.

And I'd much rather hang out with my fellow 'look like a Blogs to the world - but in reality a band of survival super heroes' than dull Mr Suit who is too busy looking at the reflection of himself in his car to even realize he knows himself about as deeply as the relection. (You have got to survive the fire to really know yourself.)

Leaf

Trevor78 profile image
Trevor78 in reply toLeaf100

You seem to have accepted your new self. That was the point being made. Many don't make that transition and get stuck at their pre-injury self. They never move on or make the leap that you have.

Leaf100 profile image
Leaf100 in reply toTrevor78

In some ways yes and in some no. The old me is , at times , constantly in my face . I am still finding things that old me could do that new me struggles with. I don't know that that will ever stop... I don' t personally feel it's possible to have people forget on demand or to never think about it again. Instead, I found acknowleding the , what might be called good parts , works better.

PurpleOverlord profile image
PurpleOverlord

Well, those quotes from the Schumacher story have a lot of truth to them, but it's not phrased very well! I agree that the person we were is gone, and it's a huge waste of time and energy to try to bring them back to life. I focus on today, looking for ways to adapt that make life as Dr Purple more gentle and relaxing. There's no point in pushing myself in Dr Previous direction. That just doesn't fit anymore and brings me nothing good.One tactic I've adopted is to take note when I smile or laugh. What just made me happy? Ah, looking at those gorgeous trees. Right, I need more walks in nature, that takes me to a good place. In fact, my plan for today is to get in touch with SCOPE to look for help in finding a job out in nature.

Calling yourself "Bloggs" isn't fair. You're not less than you were. You're different. So, change from Mx Orange to Mx Green. It's a scary adventure, but an adventure anyway, so enjoy the new view out of the window. I'm keeping my title though. Dr Previous worked hard for it and it would be a terrible shame to waste it. 🤣

LostGenius profile image
LostGenius

I’d come across that after my accident. It scared the 💩 out of me but it was correct that brain injuries destroy lives. Trying to get better with a society that understands little and a shitty medical system (I’m in Canada and basically had zero help from our system) makes recovery harder.

But we keep on keeping on right?!

Trevor78 profile image
Trevor78 in reply toLostGenius

It's human nature to keep on and we do. You've correctly identified the issues and I'd be surprised if that isn't the situation worldwide. We are fortunate where we live though at the end of the day so we can pick a positive out of it I think!

Leaf100 profile image
Leaf100 in reply toLostGenius

I am in Canada as well and find where bi is concerned it's more like ' what medical system'? And admitting you have one to a walk in clinic, which is pretty much what is available, is usually a mistake.Leaf

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