Decision making

[dovrob]

Do others have problems making decisions?

I sometimes say I can never get lost as I don't make a decision about where I'm going, but I find myself falling into that trap more and more in everyday life.

rather than make a decision I'll happily go with what others decide or accept what fate throws in my path.

I make the best of what life puts in front of me, never realising, or preferring to ignore, that I had the power to influence the direction my life goes. maybe not everything that occurs but at least the general direction.

I can't even blame my lack of knowledge, as I may collect all the possible information or none and still dither about which way to go.

Am I fated to always wait on the turn of the coin or are there any tips on making a decision I'm happy about?

[1949liz]

hi Dov, have you always been the same? Some people are born leaders and some followers it just a fact of life. Maybe it’s easier for you to go along with the flow of the organisation making decisions for you. I used to be a leader then he came along and took control over everything that’s not good. Now I am on my own I make my own decision and it feels strange and at first extremely hard but now I am enjoying my time without been told what I am going to be doing today.

Take care and enjoy the freedom of just being you love Liz and Shelly 🙏

[Pairofboots]

Hi, I have problems in decision making. To me I'm not sure if it has really got worse over the years, or that I have become more aware of how much it impacts life. I recently had some functional tests that suggest it has got worse.

I can only cope with binary thinking. Sometimes I can see the bigger picture, but not the steps of how to achieve it. Before my hiccup, I could walk into a kitchen and out of a tin of tomatoes, produce a three course meal. Now I stand for hours looking at ingredients, and end up walking away because I can't put them together in a way that results in something edible.

I'm not suggesting that you will experience the same path as me. In my case there are other factors at play as a result of my injury.

You have come to the realisation that you do have choice, now you have to practice making choices, being aware of the effect they have. With choice comes responsibility, so there is an aspect of owning the choices you make. Life is a learning experience, and errors are our teacher.

Good luck ☘

[lcd8]

Yes this sounds very familiar to me. I've always been really bad a making decisions. Even about silly things. I'm so frightened of making the wrong choice and big decisions, like whether to stay on at school or not, wether to change job or not etc have been a complete nightmare for me. In fact I'd go as far as to say I avoid putting myself in situations that require big decisions where I can. I'm not risk-averse, I just prefer to have all the facts and time to think themm through first. But of course with most decisions you can't afford to do either of these things.

[maureen103]

Prior to my bleed i ran nursing homes etc and made major as well as minor decisions all day long. Now I find it really difficult to make any decisions. If I go out for a meal and you order at the bar I order what the person in front of me did. If i am out with friends the same thing order what they do. Can't pick what to watch on tv etc. But on saying all that, I have been happy with the choices that I have jumped on . Perhaps it is a way to open up to other opportunities and tastes.

[dovrob]

Thanks for all the responses. Don't think I was ever a natural leader, 1949liz- never really thought about it that way. Icd8 oh to be given the time to weigh up options before making a decision, rather than all the time to regret the rushed decision we make

Sometimes I have to admit that it's losing my initiative that stops me even beginning to start the process of making a decision, while other times it's my lack of inhibitions that leads to the wrong decision made.

Head injury is surely a complicated business

[ArthurFudgeCake]

I do! But after six years of daily training! It's easier when more awake and aware. Coaching and having strategies are innumerable

[dovrob in reply to ArthurFudgeCake]

Thanks Athur,

Yes I would always hope i'd learn from my mistakes, though at times i feel I just become more inventive making different mistakes 😀

[dovrob]

Decided to make a decision and after 5 errks off with stress decided (there's that word again) to return to work on Monday.

No idea if I'll stick, still don't think its my dream job, but I'll see how it goes and maybe start a serious search for a new job.

[skydivesurvivor]

tbi left me unable to run my life, thinkam making a good decision. Learn later just how useless I no am…smile apologetic and my cater bkess him takes over!!

[dovrob in reply to skydivesurvivor]

I'm sure you're not useless skydivesurvivor, though I realise how easy it is to feel like that when we make decisions that don't go the way we expect them to go. Always believe that we have earned the right to be wrong, at least it gives usx the chance to use our glorious smiles 😊

[BeeYou22]

Hello Dov... I think it's a fact of brain injury that making decisions and sensible choices desserts you all of a sudden. I just 'live in the now' and float along on my raft and try and deal with whatever comes my way but it's really hard as I used to have a high powered job and was a definite leader. Now I panic when difficult situations arise and my stress levels go through the roof... not good. I am trying to learn to accept that I am a 'different me' now, whatever that is. I can't work any more, my body isn't functioning properly and I'm under a neuro consultant who is trying to fathom out why I have left side weakness. My life is a series of hospital appointments and sometimes I can't see a way forward but I'm still here... just! x

[Catx1978]

I struggle with decision making from simple to major decisions. Only the other day, I was in the hairdresser and had to make a choice between two different hairdressers with regards to how much they charge. I had no idea what to do and had to ask my rehab assistant about it.