update 2:coping with a sick loved one

[imconfusedandscared]

hello everyone,

I’m sorry i haven’t really been active as of late, i guess i was trying to figure out and think things through on my own for a little.

In the meantime we have received updates on grandpa, so here they are for anyone who’s invested

First, a very important thing, it was never really a coma he was in. It might be confusing-it was for me as i was told he was in a coma- but i got told the other day that he was just sedated after the surgery (because of the agitation) and after they found the infection in the lungs, he was intubated.

Apparently what he’s in is not really considered a coma, because he can move, but it seems like on the neurological side of things, he hasn’t recovered from the surgery. In fact, he’s almost completely unresponsive and they are unsure if he can hear and comprehend what’s being said.

Which leads me to another update; what they thought was pneumonia was in fact the unknown infection i mentioned previously. It’s a hospital virus and he is receiving a proper treatment for it, which has improved his state! It’s a tiny little small improvement, which is still better than no improvement. They say he still wouldn’t be able to breathe on his own without the ventilator though, but that might be just because the treatment is still in its early stage.

That is all i have for now guys I wanted to keep it brief, but i guess that was a fail😀

Thank you for the love and support, i send you all good energy, love and strength!! Xx

[Alibongo60]

Hi Aneta, thanks for the update, hopefully grandpa will continue hanging on, they are tougher than they look. Have you been allowed to go in and see him yet, it might reassure you if you did see him, I know your parents are trying to protect you, can I ask how old you are, and what country you are living in. I told you at the very beginning how people on here would support you, they are pretty amazing aren’t they, I hope you feel less confused and scared now because we will continue our support, lots of love Alice xx

[imconfusedandscared in reply to Alibongo60]

Hi Alice!I actually am going to see him this Saturday! I’m very excited but also scared.

As for your questions, i’m 16. And i’m sorry, but i don’t feel comfortable sharing where exactly i live, though i will tell you it’s in Eastern Europe. I hope you understand, it’s just that internet is not always a safe space and i feel better not displaying everything.

Thank you for understanding and also for your response!

Sending love back

Aneta

Xx

[Alibongo60 in reply to imconfusedandscared]

Hi again Aneta, no that’s perfectly ok you give as much information as you wish, I just wasn’t sure you were British, not that makes any difference to us, but medically grandpa s care could be different. I am glad you are going to see him on Saturday, I understand it will seem frightening, but I think you will feel better for it afterwards, just talk to him as you always do hold his hand, sound and touch are important senses and he may be able to recognise you. Can I please say your English is amazing, and you have a very mature head on young shoulders, your family should be very proud of you, lots of luck tomorrow love Alice xx

[cat3]

Hi again Aneta. Your grandad will be exhausted from the second fall and surgery, plus the infection and sedation has probably slowed him down further.

Brain injury is usually life changing and coming through it is a long, slow process, unlike damage to other organs which can repair within weeks or even days. Our bodies react in various ways in dealing with injury ..........our brain with stillness and sleep.

But your grandad's brain will be constantly working around the injury to reconfigure and create new pathways ; there's often lots of activity happening which is 'invisible' to others so unresponsiveness can be deceptive.

Thanks for this update m'love ; it helps others to identify and respond. All my best wishes for some signs of progress soon..

Cat Xx

[imconfusedandscared in reply to cat3]

Hi!Yes, you are right, brain does need a lot of time to heal and it’s a very slow process. Right now we are just worried that he will get stuck in this healing journey at a certain stage and will remain like that forever.

That is an option, but of course there’s also the option of a recovery, which we are all hoping and wishing for the most and we believe in him.

Thank you for your wishes and your response, it really helped, especially when you said that unresponsivness can be deceptive

Again thanks a lot,

sending love

Aneta xx

[cat3]

I see from your reply to Alice that you're visiting your dad tomorrow Aneta. It will be strange and doubtless upsetting especially for someone so young (I'm surprised you're only 16 and with such maturity).

But don't be afraid to make physical & verbal contact with your grandad ; even in his distanced state a familiar touch and voice can be both comforting and encouraging. Just chatting casually as you would to anyone else, is the best approach.

I hope that spending time with him might demystify the situation ; direct involvement can be strangely empowering over time. Let us know how your visit goes when you feel up to it m'love.

Thinking of you all, love Cat x

[Dorothybarker55]

Anita, enjoy your time with your grandpa, the visit with him is the thing that’s important now. Tell him how much you love him. Questions about recovery and getting ‘stuck’ in his recovery are for later, for now just concentrate on the love you have for each other. Dot