Advise needed please.

[Sheneversawme]

4 years ago I was knocked of my motorbike (slow filtering)Amongst my injuries was a bleed and small indent on the front of my lobe.I and my partner were warned at the time about possible aggression issues,well I'm told I'm aggressive in the way I speak to people now,although I don't think I am(I can be blunt at times).I have tried to get help but seem to be going round in circles.I have been waiting for 9 months to speak to a councillor from Basildon Mind but I really need to know what else I can do.My GP was a waste of time and a friend suggested this site.Any advice greatly appreciated. Thank you.

[Pairofboots]

Hi Shen, yes coming across as aggressive is fairly common, this is often linked with poor emotional control. Counseling might help. I would suggest that you ask your GP to be referred to a neuro-psychologist, or if you have the contact details of who advised you previously, go through them. Neuro-psychologist work specifically with people that have experienced a brain injury. They may also refer to a neuro-psychiatrist, don't worry about the psychiatrist part of the title, you are not barking, again these specifically work with brain injuries.

Also have a look at the Headway website and helpline.

Welcome to the forum, everyone here has experience of brain injury from one angle or another, we are all expert's about our own experience. Everyone's journey is different. Keep in touch, and I hope that you benefit from being part of this club no one would choose 🍀

[Sheneversawme in reply to Pairofboots]

Thanks for the reply POB's,the emotional part strikes a cord.I shall call my doctor today and ask to be seen by a Neuro psychologist and see how I get on.Thank you.

[Pedal2]

Hello Sheneversawme, before I start, if it is of any consolation I know exactly what you mean regarding both the anger and the "I'm aggressive in the way I speak . . . although I don't think I am". Back in 1999 I had a nasty fall and straight afterwards I occasionally, probably more often than I realised, became a little aggressive in my tone of voice, a bit like that Tasmanian devil cartoon character in all truth.

To talk about possible remedies, lack of insight answers the question as to why you do not notice it, something you are probably already aware of. However, even when you are aware that you often have an inability to see yourself and your behaviour in the same way in which others do it sadly does not prevent the same "hostile" reactions happening. I honestly think more in social situations these days, yes it is still an issue albeit less so, to combat this problem and I try to be careful about both what I say and how I say it. Having said that, I am not an actor so constantly playing this unnatural game of scripted dialogue often slips away whilst I am speaking or sometimes, due to the unexpected involvement in a conversation, it does not happen at all.

Hate to say it but the going round in circles comment is one I have used for 20 years plus now to comment on lots of things related to "recovery". It is a bit like going round in circles but there is forward progression as you manage to manage it a little better.

Another suggestion which worked for me and still does is exercise. I was never as physically fit before my accident as I have been since due to the fact that I try and race the anger out of my body by exerting myself either cycling or running. After that all the stress of living with the extensive problems caused by the fall are more under control for a while.

My final piece of advice is sadly going to go against your need for a quick solution as time is a great healer. It takes time to get back to behaving more like what people consider to be normal. How much time is the elusive question I am afraid because each case is different. Due to lack of insight I am probably completely unaware of how long it took me to get better at all the things on my list of things which needed improving after the accident but I am afraid none of them were particularly quick.

I wish you good luck in the future and hope that things start to get better for you.

[Tanglewood77 in reply to Pedal2]

Can I also suggest speech and language therapist as I've been passed on this way through Nero Psychology as I can come across as short or growling at times when I'm really not

[Sheneversawme]

UpdateI called my GP again as advised and he can't refer me to a neuro psychologist, instead he told me to give Vitaminds a call.After being assessed by them they told me I need anger management and would call me back,I'm yet to here from them.I've not heard again from Basildon Mind and being honest,after nearly 12 months on the waiting list I've given up.Thanks for the advice,hopefully Vita minds will call me back soon.