Anxiety and depression: youtu.be/P9hDEEoUN58 - Headway
Anxiety and depression
O'h Andy, heartfelt condolences, I'm so sorry for your loss. What a shocker! There really is too much of it around right now. The drugs don't work and neither does counselling for some. Have you got other siblings and parents?
My mother is still very much with us
Terrible loss, my heart goes out to you and your family Andy.
Depression is an evil illness that robs families of loved ones. Its hard to reach out when the world around you eems threatening and strange. The feeling of not fitting in and justifying your existance is a struggle when all around seem to cope with life is a hard thing to break.
Having battled for years i can sort of understand his battles. I was luck family pushed fir help for me , which I know I would never have seeked. I would like to say my life plain sailing now but I am aware how easy it is to slip into the darkness of depression.
Please dont seek the " what if i did this" route as being in the right mind to accept help that is offered at just the right time is a bit of a lottery.
All that can be done is to keep reaching out to people and encourage them to do the same
Keep strong in these testing times
PAX
❤ hugs
Wise words Andy. I think you & I talked before about the regret of 'not doing more' but, as Pax mentioned, we often keep mental health issues close to the chest - not 'cause we're ashamed but because sometimes the words to describe depression just aren't adequate ..
Paul dealt with his demons in his own way and wouldn't have wanted you seeing his depression first hand. Admitting to depression can lead to understanding and treatment for some, but for others it's a slippery slope out of denial, and denial is often the preferable choice.
I struggled with clinical depression since adolescence, trying every type of therapy and drug treatment available, but it was only 10 years ago that the brain injury and loss of certain emotions finally gave me peace.
Despite being admitted several times into psychiatric care and receiving ECT, counselling & medication my father tried suicide more than once and finally succumbed to an overdose. He confided how he hated the scrutiny.
This has morphed into an essay ! I just wanted to say I agree with the world opening its ears to those with mental health problems, but treating them successfully is a whole other challenge.
Thinking of you all as always......
E. x
Thanks E,
I know Paul fought and fought hard, it was just impossible to watch from the sidelines. He would have hated us to see any of the darker moments and I think isolation was his comfort blanket to be honest. It was easier that way. Make sense?
Absolutely. The recent calls from celebrities and junior royals for sufferers to 'Open up' is well meaning, but overly robust persuasiveness can feel threatening and have the reverse effect for those not ready to.
After I became a mum I opted for SSRIs so I could function as a parent rather than have my kids live in fear of my mental health issues. But they knew I struggled and I know they cared, and still do ....... just as Paul knew you cared about him. xx
Hi Cat, I don't feel that the patronage of celebs and royals is bullying. It is raise the issue to the consciousness of those that don't think about depression.
I never expected to become depressed after my stroke. Although I wouldn't recommend blowing your brain up, I just started out dealing with it as every other challenge I had previously faced. I knew there was a risk.
I had nursed people who were depressed. But I didn't recognise it in me. My wife at the time, had worked with the same patient groups as I had. She didn't recognise depression in me until it was nearly too late.
I accepted treatment, but resisted the diagnosis, me, who me, not me, no way. I did eventually accept, and did reach out as I hit crisis after crisis.
Depression is still misunderstood, some still think it is being a bit down, something you can pull yourself out of. People all will say someone is grieving, or others are obviously depressed after they lose there job, they don't appreciate how enveloping depression is. I didn't appreciate where it took you. I know now, I wish I was able to appreciate the black dog when I was nursing. I was, and this is not my words, but said by patients, consultants, and colleagues, one of the most dedicated, adaptive, and proactive nurses. Some told me, others I heard through the NHS grapevine.
I know from my experience of depression, and from nursing it is not easy to accept depression, to live with, to reach out from. More people need to "just as" and then ask again. I know of people, as in the video, that are no longer able to reach out, because I, or others, but I take failings to heart, because I didn't ask.
Not sure I get the 'Blowing your brain up' bit Ian ? 🤯
I woke one morning (in my teens & with everything to live for) feeling like my brain had been poisoned whilst I slept ; the scariest moment of my life. Overnight something in my brain chemistry had shifted resulting in terror and a lifetime of psychiatric evaluations, counselling, therapy and meds.
Talking is invaluable for mental healing in depression brought on by circumstances. But this isn't so with clinical depression, where logic isn't present and language is just a noise.
So the recent bombardment in the media of opening up on mental health issues can be a Godsend for many, but can feel accusatory to certain sufferers and drive them further into themselves.
It's a fine balance and needs to be handled sensitively. What I'd like to see is GPs getting back to their surgeries. Hospital staff have faithfully dealt with the pandemic over & above treating patients in A&E who could so easily have been dealt with by their GP.
Even police have had to become social workers owing the the lack of mental health care. This government needs to stop pocketing the funds so badly needed for public welfare and start making mental health treatment accessible and available.
My cousin died alone a year ago. She'd 'opened up' for months but took matters into her own hands as there were no mental health professionals available to hear her.
Our fantastic NHS is being openly sabotaged by underfunding. I meet every plea for a donation towards saving it .....but it's a mere drop in the ocean !
Phew - didn't intend a rant Ian... x
In no way am I qualified to diagnose but your brother's ability to really enjoy himself sounds like my diagnosis of atypical depression, in that I'm able to really enjoy myself but it's normally short lived.
As for depression now being talked about and understood, in my experience it's a impediment, as now many people think they understand because they've been diagnosed with mild to moderate depression. Mention suicide and immediately they have a gut reaction which still seems to based on some innate stigma.
As soon as you open up most people will tell you about their worse experience, I've given up.
Anybody with a TBI and depression is unfortunate enough to have two hidden disabilities, which are full of prejudice.
So sorry Andy, and thank you for being brave enough to post this sad message, something for us all to hold onto when things get tough 🌸
Thank you PG
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