Do things get better?
My husband suffered a brain injury as a result of a fall. 3.5 months ago.
He is in rehab and making slow steady progress. One min I think wow and the next he does something like washing his hands in the flush of a toilet.
I just feel heartbroken and so lonely. I can’t stop crying and as a doer helpless.
Do people recover ?
I’m scared!
Hi OmaFR,
3.5 months is early days. Recovery doesn't happen in a straight line, it is more in a jumble like a big ball of string.
Have you asked Headway if some counselling is available for you, or groups, etc?
Every injury is different, so the docs may have some idea, but a lot of times they also just have to wait and see.
It is normal to be scared. That is why it is good to have the support of others.
Things do heal, and some residual effect is also expected... a lot of therapies are in his future, and yours. Right now you need a support system... you used to rely on your husband a lot for that in the past, right now he isn't available. He still is in there somewhere, and his brain is working hard to reconnect the dots. You being there helps him in ways he can not say... he does know you are there and your familar presence and voice is something showing him a pathway.
I was injured myself, and a lot of times I just wanted to listen to my Mom's voice.
So, do not discount the importance of you being there.
There are no guarantees and no one can tell you how exactly this will unfold.
You will develop the skill of patience at an entirely new level.
Post here anytime, get more one on one help through Headway.
Take it one moment at a time, and remember to breathe. This is a long distance endurance marathon, not a sprint, so pace yourself and remember you also need support and kindness.
Leaf
My family's relief that I'd survived a brain haemorrhage was overshadowed by my bizarre behaviour. They feared I was lost to them as their mum 'til my consultant reassured them that my strange notions and ramblings were classic symptoms of a struggling brain and that when I eventually 'Turned a corner' they'd have me back !
No two brain injuries are the same but after 3 months I was compass mentis and making some sense. It took around 2 years to reach an equilibrium but I feel I progressed still further in later years. (your husband's timeframe might be far less).
I guess it's the behavioural changes which make brain injury seem scary, but a traumatized brain often needs to relearn basic functions and, most of all, it needs a long period (maybe months) of recuperation before normal cognition is restored. Your man's progress may be 'one step forward - two steps back' for a while yet and for you it'll no doubt be strange witnessing his trials and mistakes.
But give it time Oma ; getting through brain injury is invariably a lengthy process. Even if he doesn't show it, your presence will be encouraging and reassuring for him. Meantime, accept all and any offers of support from friends or family during what's a testing time.
Take care of yourself m'love, and please keep us updated on your man's progress.... Cat x
Hi Oma,
I suffered my TBI 7yrs ago and was on a coma & hospitals for the first couple of months. It did take my brain circa 3yrs to settle down, so I think 3.5 mths is early doors.
It was tough for my wife and daughters but if you can get support wherever possible, and believe your husband will become more stable. The future months are promising👍🏻
Good lunch with it x
He will get there. My OH had the same and would do things like clean his teeth with a razor! there were so many strange things he did but it took time. Big difference in him after a year in those kind of things although he still had remnants of the TBI. Think of it as the brain sorting itself out with a few little oddities on the way! I wish you all the best as its a path we all ended up on that we didnt choose to take !Ultimately its time ! x
I understand, progress will happen x
Hi,As others have said it is early days. Coupled with everyone's recovery is different.
The only common ground seems the constant forward and backwards step in recovery. One day there an improvement in one thing only to take a step back in others.
Keep a diary so you can look back. It is easy to miss improvements day after day. With a diary you can look back and notice more.
Remember just because the doctors cant give you recovery outcome or timescales doesn't mean how well he will recover.
It may seem a long slog but it is worth the struggle.
All the best,
Pax
Yes they do get better, you will know joy and happiness and laughter again together, but I’m afraid life will be different. There is a new normal.You are such early stages, rehab continues for years. I remember my husband taking weeks to relearn how to put his T shirt on again. He went from being pushed in a wheelchair to self propelling, to a frame to a stick.
Miraculous really.
You need to ask people for help, you need to talk,(friends, neighbours anyone) you need a sense of humour,you need to accept a new normal, you need to look after yourself and be kind to yourself, with time off to recharge batteries if possible. It’s hugely challenging but hugely rewarding.
Today we have a good life…it’s different but good…today, we re hosting our grandsons birthday party, we ll eat cake, laugh and play games. Although hubby is wobbly he ‘ ll play table tennis with everyone and probably win .( some things never change😂)
How I describe him him to people who have nt seen him seen him since pre accident ( TBI) is “ Remember J used to be loud, talked a lot and there was little filter between brain and mouth?” Yes, they say cautiously, wondering what’s coming next…..” well, I reply……he’s just the same only more so!”
This is usually accompanied by much laughter, broken the ice and they sit down and start chatting as they always did. J holds centre stage ( as always) and if he does say something inappropriate / personal they take it in their stride.
Life is fun. Still have our challenges but fun.
Good luck , much love and enjoy and embrace your new normal Anne xxx
Yes things will improve so hang on in there. He'll make a better recover y with your support. I had a brain haemorrhage 4 years ago and with the support of my husband I'm making a great recovery now, feeling happy and watching new doors open for me
Relax. At first anyone who suffered a brain injury will recover fast.
After a while recovery plateaus and it seems no recovery is made but it is.
One day something is achieved which seemed nigh on impossible before.
Recovery is being made
Everyone is individual but I went from relearning to walk to go onto trek 55 miles of the Great Wall Of China (for Headway), take a World Record abseil from the very top of the Humber Bridge towers, crew a schooner to Holland and back and even learn to ice skate
Will it get better ……. 
Self-care and the things that you do
How do I get through this
Do you have difficulty explaining things clearly?
