"response",

[Dogsabighelp]

so,i wrote the three major issues,made copies and sent letter addressed to care centre director,even though one of issues concerned him discussing wrong patients very serious personal medical problems with myself.had a call from him yesterday asking if i could come to centre on tuesday to "talk over"my concerns.of course i agreed to this visit.in fact,i was very calm and accomodating i felt.it was clear to me that he was trying to gain control over the situation,spoke over me a couple of times,well he would wouldnt he?this man thinks i am going to turn up and let him do a whitewash job,he thinks he has the upper hand.this man has made a very very big mistake.what i will do is write a personal statement pointing out that i have done this not wishing to put myself through any further distress and that i am only there to hear response to my compaints and that i want it known i am not happy for my son to be in this facility and that i want a guarantee of my sons safety/dignity/care.i know there is is very good chance i could loose my cool.just let them try to fob me off/shut me down,im ready...

[Nanapal]

Hi D, pleased to see you have a meeting on Tuesday to discuss the issues you have raised. I hope you get an apology, are listened to and get some clear answers. I would also request this meeting is minuted and you receive a copy. It will undoubtedly be a difficult meeting but you are doing this for Sean and other present/future patients ( our son definitely won’t be in the ‘future’ category).

Good luck D. Best wishes Nanapal. x

[cat3]

Good luck for Tuesday D. Hope you get answers and some reassurance of better treatment for Sean.. xx

[HungryHufflepuff]

Thinking of you and your son. I hope the meeting will go ok. 🤞

[Pairofboots]

Hi. I know you have been through a lot. Try to keep calm on Tuesday. As soon as you let anger into the equation, then angry brain takes over. Angry brain doesn't do listening, discussing, or achieving what you want to be the outcome.

I wish you well for Tuesday 🍀

[Dogsabighelp in reply to Pairofboots]

not sure ian,what dyu think?decided to write what i have called a statement.this guy is in full damage limitation mode i dont blame him.but i did send full details to c.q.c. yesterday...just want to sit face to face he very bolshie/rude...anyway got full suitcase of clothes for sean(all labelled!)nothing lost then?spent most of last night/today dealing with a freind with bi polar disorder,now thats crazy!sorted out electric and stuff he lost bank card on bus,he prefers to be what they call manic.im not having it anymore,i will turn up i dont think it will go the way they think...

[Pairofboots in reply to Dogsabighelp]

You have put the ball in his court. Something I was told many years ago, was to keep quiet and listen. Let someone else fire the bullets. It works. I used to be a fire brand in my early 20s, took me a long time to learn the lesson.

You have laid your cards out, so you have to give him time to answer or to hang himself. There maybe some type of strange logic at work that you know nothing about at the moment.

It is one of the hardest things, to not instantly respond when the blood starts to boil, but, if you keep calm, you will be able to think clearly, and when you do respond, it will be sharp and to the point.

I would say be aware of your feelings, and check them. This might sound a bit odd, but in a group meeting, others emotions can impact on you, and effect how you respond. That is why I say, be aware of your feelings.

I could go into group dynamics, it is one of the area that I used to teach, but it is too deep to broach here.

Just remember, cool, calm, and clear thinking, is how you get your points actioned. I'm sure you will do yourself, and Sean proud, I know you will.

My thoughts will be with you on Tuesday, I will be that quite word in your ear, breath, keep calm, respond.

Ian x

[ored13]

Glad you have a meeting sorted. Is there someone who can be there with you. I would consider recording the conversation...it's a bit sneaky but I've learned some hard lessons and have at times started my phone recorder before any meetings etc.It is easy to lose your cool. It will either give you the upper hand or make you see red and forget what you wanted to come away with from the meeting. So an Extra pair of ears who would be calm would be great.