What for?

[Dogsabighelp]

So many things wrong I know I can't post negative.no one gets so many injuries at limit.I want to start .occipital condlye is only caused by high energy blunt trauma,its rare.sons g.c.s was 3at scene.that's dead with a heartbeat.I'm exhausted with contact in these times.if I can't see my man then I don't know.I'm angry that I'm in this situation,I'm angry with him for getting himself in this,I'm so tired of it all.got a load of info sheets from brake nice bedtime reading..IM SO ANGRY....

[cat3]

D, I wonder whether talking to someone more experienced might ease your mind. You're clearly very distressed and desperate for support. Please phone the Headway helpline for a more professional take on your son's issues. It must be agony being unable to be with him but the Headway team might have extra insight into his condition and the health practices involved.

I hope you have someone around to comfort and hug you ! And please don't worry about posting negative thoughts whenever you need to offload.

Call the helpline on freephone 0808 800 2244 during office hours ; they've helped so many folks in dire straits... Love Cat xx

[Painting-girl]

Hey D, things are bad and frightening for you at the moment, and anger is a big part of grief, and fear. I can't even let myself imagine how beyond awful it would feel to have my son seriously ill in hospital at the moment - incredibly, intolerably frightening - particularly when we are all so cut off from human contact. How old is he? ( Mine is 37)

It's totally ok to be negative here. But Cat is right, you need that human contact right now to support you through this. Ring as many people for help as you can face. Headway will be brilliant on 0808 800 2244 in office hours.

You can talk to the Samaritans about anything 24/7 on 116 123

(and I don't know, but you might find help from your own GP - that might depend on what your experience has been with them generally - but mine was surprisingly good when my husband left years ago )

Do you live on your own - could you be in a support bubble with someone - so that you can have a proper good hug? Have you close friends and family to talk to?

Just know you can post on here and people will be listening and understanding at least some of what you are going through.

But please ring Headway too

Love and a big virtual hug

Jen 🌸 x

[Dogsabighelp in reply to Painting-girl]

Does it make sense when I say I can't?my son would hate for people talking.I'm kinda same.

[cat3]

How are you doing D ? x

[Dogsabighelp in reply to cat3]

Not good cat having bad day.police came to give me keys to my back door(has been unlocked for 8 weeks)they going to reconstruct accident next week.wanted to know how tall,what type of build.took dog out for walk prior to this and a neighbour someone I've known most of life asked me,"how's the boy"?went on to tell me she had vaccine should I not get it?why not and why I'm not.ya de ya.I've lost plot..to make things worse when I got home,letter from m.o.d to son outlining future duties required in particular to him duties in the Gambia which he would have loved for his former skills/knowledge.I can't process and struggling..

[cat3 in reply to Dogsabighelp]

Please get help D. It's irrelevant whether you or your son dislike others knowing your business ; you seriously need psychological/emotional support which requires confiding in others. I fear you're showing signs of emotional collapse .......and where will either of be if you suffer a breakdown ?

We all need help at some time in our lives and this is an exceptionally difficult time for you. Sometimes this means putting trust in others i.e. trained professionals who're not emotionally involved, and can view your problems more objectively.

Please phone the helpline before the weekend and trust in people who really can help. I wish I could come to your door and help in whatever way possible but sadly I can't. Please call the helpline m'love ; you'll be pleasantly surprised at how understanding they are.... x

[Painting-girl]

I feel the same as Cat I'm afraid, D. You do need support to get yourself through this, because your son will be needing you later.

So sad to get the MOD letter at the moment, that must really have hurt a lot.

If you can find some new ways to cope that work for you - by asking for support and help - and I understand that you wouldn't normally - you will be in a stronger place to eventually gently coach your son - to in turn help him cope with whatever he has to face in the future.

You'll be able to find out things from Headway to help him and you. Please try them - it's just a call - 0808 800 2244. It can be a huge relief to talk to someone who understands brain injury.

Love

Jen x

[Dogsabighelp in reply to Painting-girl]

Yep I know I'm coming close to my breaking point.I have spoken with headway I have counsellor from brake also.its almost like I have b/I too.I don't seem able to handle info coming to me.I can't explain myself nothing makes any sense to me.will ring headway helpline tommorrow

[Painting-girl in reply to Dogsabighelp]

It's just the awful horrible strain you're under D. You're doing ok - no-one in your situation would be any different. Hang on in there, and don't forget that Samaritan number either to get you through the non office hours. Just saying things out loud takes some of the strain off - it's what they're there for (116 123). Mums have the toughest time. Will be thinking and praying for you both - keep in touch, and try and take care of yourself. Your son is in the right place for now. Xx

[cat3 in reply to Painting-girl]

Ditto Jen....xx