Manipulation : Trigger warning.... I am been... - Headway


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Trigger warning....

I am been accused of been verbally aggressive and manipulative but I can see why this is the case but with our the help and support in place I have now lost my family the love of my life and our children the social worker for the children said help me lose the children she can’t be my carer and be a mother one of the other I am been set up by the local authority and it’s not fair and yet I am been accused of doing this off my own back as if I want to be like that no I don’t I tried to keep our the way so many times but always fail and such the kids are teenagers and I would wake up early and only get 2 to 3 hours sleep and I would try stay out the way of them and they would always come to me asking me stuff I know I hate it snapping at them and so on I hate it I have tried to take my own life a number of times and since last year in December I went to take my life because I couldn’t take much more I text my partner who I call Queen Elizabeth she said to me that she loved me and come back home I had walked all the way to the Peak District to take my own life it was cold she talked me out of it and few weeks later I tried to end my life with rope and failed I have tried to take my own life a few days ago because I am not been taken serious and the recover team are just as bad as I haven’t seen them for at least a month now and I am in bits every day I won’t phone them as it has been stated that won’t do this by a doctor who assessed me my IQ is low 69 present and I can’t carry on like this as I am struggling

19 Replies

Hi. I am sorry that things are so bad for you.

You could try calling Maytree. They work with people who are feeling like you are. Their number is 020 7263 7070.

I wish you all the best.

Thanks for that but I am sorry I can’t phone them as I would just break down

Hi. I know that Maytree wouldn't care if you were upset on the phone, but you can also email them on

They have a website at

They are wonderful people.

Thanks sweetie


As a wife of 19yrs this year 2yr old, 14yr old, im only coming up to 16wks with my husband sustaining TBI soley support on my own, behaviour is hard, attacking post man, verbally aggressive to staff at local shops, obsconding, smashes house, eggshell type of atmosphere .

Your children have watched your life unfold with life changing injuries. Your wife has been you sole support, (respect to her) . However i see your point, and unaware how you come across, loved ones get use to it, outsiders see red flags reason LA involvement. My husband always looks agressive, and looks normal but from where ICP monitor insertation still healing.

However i would argue with social worker there own knowledge on brain injury, and if they dont request a more skilled worker that can support with pathway that you, your wife and children can realistically achieve with correct resources to improve family life, put complaint in. But you need correct SW with right skills. Right a list of your expectations, and ask them what there expectation looks like, speak to your wife who is your rock.

I feel for you and i fear my future with what will come from TBI with my husband.

You have a family unit that is exhausted, fearful of the future but love you, but scared your on edge with suicidal threats. They need you .You need them. Make it work, youve got this far, just so more inñer strength to see this through calmly. You phone resources that others promoted when your ready and maybe write down bullet points to keep on track of conversation, write down what you want to say if conversation irritating you so you are prepared end in good manner and ask to ressume conversation when fatigue eased, basically pinpoint another date with same worker. Put in your phone so you dont miss.

All the best.

Thank you new_beginning I am going to do just that but sadly my partner had been told she helps me and the children go

Hi is my husband is the same .his is due to a gead injury 6 years ago .is head injury the reason for your outbursts ? My husband can snap just in an instance he has frontal lobe brain damage he can be fine one minute then he can be so crul and aggressive and violent not to me but smashing things up .if it is to do with a head injury have you seen a nurosycologist as we did this year and it explained alot

Yes it is I don’t like been like that and now the social services think I do it deliberately

Going from your posts 8yrs ago, this has been ongoing issue with cognitive /mental health since 4. Unfortunately the social services wouldnt remove children and no contact if there wasnt high risks, but a SW should have skills with working with parents with MH and provide additional info i.e. advocate for you.

I know it’s been an up hill struggle and I am been assessed by P.A.M.S stands for (parenting assessment manual)The PAMS assessment takes into account parents who have a learning difficulty/disability and gives the assessor techniques which they should use when they are working with parents and families with a learning difficulty/disability. Then I am seeing a psychiatrist that will go into depth of my parenting and so on to make sure I am not a risk to my children and to say the long term affects of the brain injury, I feel as though I have been let down by the system as if the support was in place from the beginning I wouldn’t have to be deal with this now

Despite the situation and i know be difficult for you, but sounds like your SW doing everything as it should.

Well am sure anyone would see this but I am struggling as the sw she is and had follows stating that I am a risk and that my partner has put the children at risk by staying in a relationship with me, and that she can’t help me in anyway or face loosing the children

I'm in a similar fix after 24 years and 4 kids together. I had a 3rd ventriculostomy in 2009 but have struggled to hold down a job since. My wife is a nurse, who went through my neurosurgery with me, but is now filing for divorce and has put our home up for sale. I need advice or done signposts as I have had to move out and go back to my parents home.

Please help!

Wow that’s pretty bad if I may say I don’t know what to suggest or how to tackle this one, I wouldn’t want to say something then later you get the wrong end of the stick so I won’t...

The only thing I can say is that I am not sure what had brought this on but it’s not my place to know I feel for you, I would say seek legal advice sorry can’t be much help

Thanks x I have had to engage a solicitor who has reassured me I will still be able to see my kids, and will be entitled to not only half the profit on our home, but also half of my wife's pension from the NHS. Since money is everything to her, she may be in for a bit of a shock. I just want my family, but my condition means I struggle with jobs, as my memory function is shot. I have zero income, and no access to benefits.

Sorry I will private message you

Headway admin can you please help this person? I really don't want him to do something silly, or lose his children and wife. Bit harsh of the stupid sw

Wow how kind of you, the thing is I am sure that they can’t help as I have emailed them and it’s just a help line and so on I am suffering because of this and yes the social workers should be more clued in As to what is going on I am so scared that if the judge says I am a danger I will end my life been so close to doing that when I was in my early 20’s

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