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Something worse than brain injury

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Sorry it's come to this my friend. Thinking of you, your dad and all his loved ones at this most testing of times.

With love, E.... xx

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Thanks, sweetie xx

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There is nothing you can do to help your father get rid of the cancer what you can do is be there for him and help to enable him to live the end of his life as he wants to. I take it he is not having to much pain? Now days medical people can help control the pain. Just be there.

Mufc

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Not in too much pain, no. Just sleeping, virtually all day

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I use to be a specialist head and neck and lung cancer nurse. Sleep is his body’s way of trying to accept and fight it.

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Andy my heart goes out to you, cancer has to be the hardest to live through for the whole family.

There is no need to explain to us, if i could shoulder it dor you i would, one of lifes cruellest blows.

We are all here for you.

Love

Janet x

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Thanks Janet, that means a lot xx

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Hi Andy,

I also haven't been around much for the same sort of reason - my husband has had cancer of the blood for 5 years now and we have now been told that it is terminal, he has only a few months to live. The thing I wanted to suggest to you is that you contact your local hospice, ours has been wonderful at giving me a chance to talk things through, sort out how we want things to end, helping hubby too.

If not, ask your doctor is you can get visits from an Admiral nurse or someone from MacMillan. They are great at helping you to cope with the feelings this brings to the family.

Best wishes to you all (and hope the house move isn't too stressful)

Jan x

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Thanks Jan. We are already at that stage and my mother is having talks with a MacMillan nurse as and when. We really are at the 'end game' stage now. It's hard going. So sorry to hear you're going through the same thing, I'm genuinely thinking of you and sending you both my very best wishes x

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Andy so sorry to hear this news. I was also going to suggest getting in touch with your local hospice. Its never too early or too late to get them involved and they take care of the patients and also support the whole family unit through the entire process and beyond.

When my Mum was diagnosed with terminal cancer in 2015 I was the only one around to support and care for her and the support they gave at the time was invaluable. When I explained to the team that I had a BI they were extra supportive, asking what I needed and how they could best help me - without assuming what I needed, as well as providing support and care for my Mum. They proved to be lifesavers even months after she had died and I got bereavement counselling there for free.

Life is a cycle and when we are born, eventual death is the only sure thing. I always knew that one day my parents would die, its the natural order, but nothing quite prepared me for the reality of it all. It is tough...but spending time with your Dad, just listening/ talking or sitting quietly, is probably the best thing you can do for him and for you. Near the end when my Mum was sleeping a lot, she used to open her eyes every now and again and would smile when she saw I was there. I like to think it helped her. I know it helped me to be there.

It is important that you all take the best care of yourselves possible while all this is going on. I hope the process will be a peaceful one.

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Thank you very much. All is in place, carers are on board, MacMillan are on our side and everything is in place while the cruel waiting game goes on...

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Thanks Andy. All good wishes to you all.

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So sorry to hear about your dad, must be so hard to bear. Thinking of you and your family xx

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Thank you, I appreciate it

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I nursed my husband when he had terminal lung cancer and the support from family and friends and macmillon were so helpful. Hugs to you and your family Andy x

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Thank you so much

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So sorry to hear this, it must be so hard for you all. Thinking of your own words that have inspired so many. Your BI doesn’t define you. Cancer doesn’t define your father. Your love, wonderful memories and the precious remaining time with him does. Wishing you strength & peace

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Thank you, very much, most kind

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Hi, it's so very hard for you and your family. Last yr I lost a man with it. There's no choice but be strong for your dad. I thinking about you. Xxxxxxxxxx

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Thanks, we're all doing our best

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That's so sad. I agree with the comments above, more especially Mufc - being there to enable him to live his final days as he wants to, surrounded in peace and love. Be strong as I know you must. xx

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Thank you

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My brother died 3 years ago after a long stay in Christie's hospital. I said on one visit that the situation (his age, recent retirement & our love of him cut short) was sh*t, but he replied "It is what it is ; no more, no less', and went on to put everything in order for my sister-in-law, writing out all possible useful information on practical matters in the home and a letter of farewell to everyone.

He even arranged for a taxi to take him to his best friend's bedside in another hospital to say goodbye. Heartbreaking ! But time ticks away and we cope as we never believed we would. It's sad that those times are often the closest in a whole lifetime ?.

Been thinking of you m'love………… E. xx

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E, you're a diamond, thank you. The support means so much x

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So sorry to watch your video and hear your sad news. Sending you and your family very best wishes and I know I’m new here but please don’t apologise to us! Don’t know what else to say, thinking of you. X

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Thank you, being new matters not! All the good wishes are very much appreciated

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Hi Andy. So sorry to hear about your Dad. Thinking about you all and thanks for the support and kind words you've given to me and everyone on here in the last few years. Take care. Kx

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Thank you so much, the support is invaluable to me!

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