Falling and failing.

[Danslatete]

I've not been on here for a long long time.

I'm back because I'm off work again.

No sleep again last night, but this seems to be the rule these days. Only problem is that it enhances all of the crappy bits Lat go along with the head injury.

I'm stressed because I'm being investigated for time I have had off work. I'm so scared I'll lose my job.

I'm stressed because the brown letter( loving known as turd) dropped on my doorstep and I had to go thr a hiddious phone interigation to now have the stress of waiting for the shitty forms to arrive for me to write about how broken I am.

Then the stress of the assessment and then letter telling me I get zero points because I can function.

Since I was last here I got diagnosed with trigeminal neuralgia, a lovely gift from my jaw injury at work.

I get to walk with a stick, wear a plastic splint for my foot drop, take even more drugs for sciatica for the spinal injury that just keeps on giving, use catheters to go pee because I just don't feel the need to go,

I managed to get myself a speeding ticket driving to a wedding, going a place I've never been before and I had someone with me.

I've got gall stones but they are borderline and won't do anything but watch and wait to see if it keeps flaring or gets infected then they'll take it out. In the mean time they gave me tramadol!

That's me in a nutshell.

Glad to find my password was saved and I got some support on here X X x

[cat3]

Hello Dani ; lovely to see you in spite of all your woes. It's horrible when everything hits at once.........feels like victimisation I know. And I truly empathise with the gall stones ; had my gall bladder removed a year to the day from my SAH. It was the previous infection which put me in hospital for a week, but for the actual cholecystectomy I was in and out in one day with a keyhole job.

I really do sympathise with the 'turd' situation. That's all over for me now, but I see the pain people go through here trying to get what they're entitled to and dreading the outcome of the claims............ it's SUCH a shabby system.

I just hope you'll get back on top of things m'love (as much as is possible). The traffic fine is a blow because we all overstep the limit sometimes and it's pretty random who gets the ticket. I was clamped in a DIY car park for overstaying and paid a hefty fine to get my car back ; just a money making scam really.

You're a fighter I know Dani so I hope you can use some of that inner strength to get through this rotten period whilst coping with all your health issues. Please stay around ; it's great seeing your username appear again. Love Cat xx

[steve55]

you should try meditation, you just close your eyes breathe very slowly, clear your mind and away you go. goodnight.

it also relieves stress and can be practised anywhere, give it a go.

[aqua4]

Hi Dans. Sorry you sre having an awful time. Take care.K

[malalatete]

Hi Dansa. Life throwing stuff at you, clearly. It will stop, at some point, and the tide will turn.

You aren't failing, you know. You are doing an amazing job to remain functioning and determined in spite of all the pain and all the challenges and all the rubbish. That isn't failing, it is resilience.

Can you take a holiday - or a short break or something whilst off work, just go somewhere else for a few days just to be you? I find sometimes when things are going heywire around me I just need to escape from it all to some silence, that seems to give me a bit more oomph to deal with stuff.

Will be thinking of you and praying for you.

[moo196]

Morning,

Taking your points in no particular order I can relate to a lot of the issues you mention.

TBH your last point about Tramadol was the first thing that jumped out at me. I was prescribed this in 2014 after my cvst and it was the worst medication I have ever taken ( or was it the BI??). Once I was well enough to read a little about it I stopped taking it . Cold turkey was horrid ( lasted 5/6 days) but very worth it thereafter. A lot of the teary/shaky/cross /lack of sleep symptoms disappeared within a few days after. Worth a discussion with your GP ? It's also VERY addictive and you may not be insured if driving using tramadol. I used amitripyline thereafter. Much kinder.

WRT gallstones - I had this much earlier than BI. Presumably you have been told about a fat free diet to control the symptoms ? This really worked for me back then. But was very strict - not even milk in my tea. Otherwise I was prescribed voltarol ( a muscle relaxant ) - in suppository form - enters the blood quicker than other methods apparently. I'd be asking for this rather than Tramadol.

Trigeminal neuralgia might also benefit more from amitripyline rather than tramadol. My new delight is Shingles - nothing much one can do so living with it.

Maybe try being proactive wrt brown letters and work. Get your advice ( Headway/ACAS/Citizens advice /consult a solicitor ) in advance and write it down ( or ask them to).

Nothing you can do about the driving ticket - it's done. Pay up and save your energy for the other things you may be able to influence.

Proactive also re the sciatica - have you consulted an osteopath ? They may be able to help . I know which exercises I would be doing 5 times a day to help but difficult to describe them here. TENS machine ?

Yoga and meditation are great forms of looking after oneself . I try to remember sometimes what my original yoga teacher said " be thankful for the bits of you that DO work".

Taking a little bit of action yourself may help you feel a little more in control of the situation - however shitty it is.

Good luck !

K