Headway
5,647 members8,020 posts

Memory

A dear friend of mine died in February 2017. I only recently found out about his death. I was very sad and a little bit annoyed as it has been months and no one informed me. Yesterday, my wife took a present for his wife over and gave our condolences and tell her that we had only just found out. Only then to find out that she had actually told me just after it happened. She said I told her I was sorry for her loss and that if my wife or I could help in any way just give us a call. We were there if she needed us. I was stunned when my wife told me all this. I can't remember talking to her or her telling me my friend had passed. It's made me sad and frightened that I cannot remember this and I wonder what else important I've forgotten.

Has anyone else lost a whole conversation ?

Thanks Daniel

9 Replies
oldestnewest

In the early days yes, less common now but does happen still, normally I remember talking to someone but not the conversation, but I can loose everything if I’m tired etc.

3 likes
Reply

Absolutely Daniel, there’s no rhyme or reason why some things are forgotten and some remembered .

Take care

Janet

2 likes
Reply

It might be a good idea to ask your GP for a referral for cognitive testing. The fact that you're surprised at forgetting such a significant piece of news suggests it's not even your new normal........

Best wishes. x

2 likes
Reply

Hi Daniel,

The cold reality of living with an abi is confronting in many ways.

I still forget who said what, when and where. It happens when I'm fatigued and try to keep going even when I can feel my brain capacity fading fast.

Your wife sounds like a good support for you.

Be kind to yourself when you inadvertently discover that you have not retained important news.

Claire

3 likes
Reply

Yes, all the time. I no longer process information in a logical order, especially when tired. Really key things can pass me by. I can ask the same question twice in 5 minutes with no recolle tion of the earlier conversation.

Sometimes I am quite cognitively aware, other times horribly not so. I was tested about 3 years into my illness during a period of relative wellness and the tests showed that most of my cognitive functions had declined by between 25 and 50%. I have got coping strategies but they are not foolproof!

4 likes
Reply

Yes, absolutely understand about the memory problem! Conversations and more are lost to me. It is frightening, you're not on your own with this.

3 likes
Reply

Same here. It makes me feel very insecure for my future that I do not remember something I heard, or said, and like you I wonder what else I am missing that I am not even aware of... It happened to me last week to be told about someone I inquired about that he had passed years ago, and I did not remember. Later on, I faintly remembered that I may have heard about his death almost fifteen years ago. I feel like hiding this fact from people who are not exactly closed to me (gardner, handyman, etc), as I am afraid I might be taken advantage of in some ways.

3 likes
Reply

Depending how bad your memory is you could try having a diary or note pad to write things so you remember. If you use your mobile a lot you could put notes on that too. Of course this would mean remembering to look at what you have written and remembering to write things. If you are likely to forget to check or write things leave notes to remind you round the house.

I tend to forget more of stuff I’m not bothered over like if I’m told to tidy up or something I may forget, but tell me something I want to do I’ll remember exact details. People can think it’s selective memory when it’s not. My mum has always thought I have selective memory and only this week man who runs a BI group I go to mentioned I have selective memory. Not too bothered as there have been a few things he’s wanted me to forget but I haven’t which gave us both a laugh at his expense.

2 likes
Reply

Thank you everyone for your replies and advice

1 like
Reply

You may also like...