MAY HAVE FOUND MY TIPPING POINT?

[AVENA]

My spouse had a ruptured brain aneurysm five months ago - he was sent to a "secure" specialist brain rehabilitation unit after they realised he had been discharged too early and has memory and behaviour issues. They really were not too bad and I have always questioned the secure unit - apparently there wasn't anywhere else so he was sent 70 miles away from home in October. I have been going with this and doing my upmost to keep supportive and positive. I swa him every day for four months and I have visited twice a week with daily phone calls since the move to this place. They said we had progressed to being able to move outside into their log cabin facility which is a lot more private they said??????? Last night I visited and we had three separate members of staff sit with us during my visit. They were no more than five feet away and had to be included in the conversation. They swapped over after an hour and we were subjected to this for two and a half hours. My spouse has no recorded bad behaviour issues in act they have graded him as charming, engaging and good company. This intrusion was just all too much for me. I couldn't even hold his hand - I have been with him throughout this journey but this deeply effected me - I had to drive home 70 miles in the dark after he was escorted back to his room and come home to an empty house. It overwhelmed me and I don't know if I can face another visit like this. I am reduced to tears every few minutes and fear that this situation has maybe triggered depression. Has anyone else had experience of these methods in a Specialist Rehabilitation hospital. I feel violated to be honest!

[Hidden]

Why don't you phone them and discuss how it made you feel. You might find there was a reason for this behavior - they may have been assessing how he reacts with you or something. Either way, unless you talk to them about it, you won't know if there was a reason or if it will happen in the future.

[AVENA in reply to Hidden]

I have emailed them about it- I like to have it all in writing! they say they are scared he will abscond but they could have sat in the next room they didn't need to be on our lap! There are three rooms with linking doors.

[Tortie14]

You poor thing, it sounds very distressing. 70 mile round trip must be exhausting. I hope you have good supportive friends or family around you. I would challenge this. On what grounds is he being kept where he is? Ask for examples of behaviour - they need to justify this denying of his human rights. He’s not broken the law. As for the invasion of your visit, I would put a stop to that as you say if the are worried he will ripen away the can observe from a distance. I assume you are not worried for your safety. Give Headway a ring. You need to know your and your husband’s rights. Do something to care for yourself you derserve some TLC, perhaps a massage, or pamper session, and take time to rebuild your reserves. If you need to cut back to weekly visits for your health, do so as you need to go the distance and after 5 months you have probably depleted your emotional reserves. Recharge your batteries in some way so you can navigate the system and if you need to don’t hestitate to use the formal complaints system to effect change. Good luck and let us know how you get on.