Moving on

[Astley10]

Does anyone out there struggle with ther brain injury and feel as tho they cant move on.always thinking how good life was before this happened???

[Hidden]

Hi Astley, I think after all this time you might need a bit of help with moving on. Ask your doctor to arrange some counselling or CBT for you so that an expert can help you explore your feelings and help you come to terms with what has happened.

[razyheath43 in reply to Hidden]

As the wife of a B.I surviour i see your point, there are side effects to B.I that no one telss you about! Like debt, trying to get a job, (both sides) and acepting who you are now,do get some help and embrace you!

[Kalyan-C-Gorantla]

Hi Astley, I had a subarachnoid haemorrhage in Feb 2016 after I was hit by a truck and am now recovered living an independent life.

I was bed ridden for about 10 days and was unable to stand/walk for about month and half. My main issues after coming home was poor balance, stiff neck and painful headaches, dizziness, elevated emotions (anger), loss of short term memory walking difficulty, periodic blackout, hissing sound in the ear (still consistent) etc..

I am still trying to reach the highest potential though, as an invisible illness, it went unnoticed from the start to those who didn't know me. It seems the classic after effects are the headaches, memory issues and decreased mobility and the loss of inhibition which causes many people to behave inappropriately and speak without 'filters'.

How I am trying overcoming the after effect – first and foremost thing that I told myself is that I should feel glad that I am very much alive and many years to go ahead of me. I may have had wonderful life in the past but it doesn’t mean that it did not had huddles, while learning bicycle for the first time I broke my leg and while learning bike I broke my hand and returned to my life back normally. Nor my leg or my hand held me back from learning the bikes (couple of common examples which most of the people go through and I was one of the most people).

After 2nd month of the accident I started walking slowly, I tried to kept myself active and happy all the time away from technical devices like mobile/TV/laptop etc.. I tried to spend more time close to the nature, spend most time with my dog (reason for speed recovery) walking/playing. It took my about 9 months to get back to work but I made sure that I stayed very close to my family during the entire time. Near and dearest family/friends are the best gift that anyone can have to overcome any problems in one’s life. Being Indian with large family, I was able to recover quickly. I am still continuing to work on to get back to my full potential which I see in near future.

I have to say, I was (later) very saddened to hear how my family had worried, and how I badly I behaved when I had mood swings during the first 3 months, whilst I was blissfully unaware of the whole debacle. So look after yourself and try to keep yourself happy (laughter is the best medicine) as much as possible

I wish you all the best!

[paxo05]

Let's all e honest ...Yeah big time I wish I was like I was pre bi...Who wouldn't , but I am realistic to know that ain't going to happen and try to accept how I am.

I would like to add it took over 8 years to begin to feel like this so I know your struggle.

I often wish I could remember pre bi but that would be to easy.

I think what is overlooked sometimes is that not only the bi person changes but the impact ripples out to the imediate family. Thus causing them to change also.

Yes we all change as we age but I think the big thing with a bi is the speed of the istant change.

A it has been mention cbt can help with adjusting to a new you.

Pax

[Lizum]

I'm having difficulties at the moment with the same issues. I was working full time but now can only work about 10 hours a week. It's really hard seeing people with less experience than you getting promoted over you and there's nothing you can do. I'm having to work reduced responsibility as my normal job requires much more hours and frequent travelling too. It's made even worse by my impending 40th and a colleague, who's 1 month older than me but two grades above me, returning to the office after a 5-year secondment abroad (out of sight, out of mind). I can't even leave my company as who'd want someone who can only work 10 hours a week for a similar level of pay plus I have income protection linked to my job.

Grieving for the life that was supposed to happen is hard.

[Elenor3 in reply to Lizum]

Ouch.....I feel your pain .....totslly understand the job issues yiur having.....after a long career it's very tough to be in the situation your in. Wishing you all the best

[Lizum in reply to Elenor3]

Thanks! Did you go through something similar?

[Elenor3 in reply to Lizum]

Fraid so......it can be very demotivating but if you enjoy your job then that's what keeps you going. It's hard to be restricted in doing something you managed easily for years and years isn't it? The loss of independence, the feeling like an outsider, and although I'm really lucky , the lack of understanding from some colleagues. Looking well has its drawbacks, people wonder why you're not not the same if you look the same as you did pre TBI. I find telephone conversations more difficult now - if I can't see the face if the person I'm taking to, the room for misinterpretation is much much greater. I also have developed a lack of patience with people being obtuse. For years I've been hugely lenient with a couple of the more challenging staff members. I'm very lucky in that 99% of people are so helpful and nice, but ugh....the other 1%....I'm shocked at my sled for feeling this way.....I've always given people a lot of room for error and been understanding of their little 'ways' and resistances to change. sadly I'm only just beginning to appreciate that I might not be quite the same person. It feels kind of disappointing in myself. Keeping going is the only option. others always have worse things to deal with.

[Kelz93]

My life before my brain injury was horrible. I was not a nice person and my priorities were all wrong. I didn't value my life or the people in it enough to stop the self destructing path I was on.

After my aneurysm ruptured in2014 I have become a totally different person for the better. I appreciate my family for all they have done, I look after myself better, don't drink at all, don't smoke, I am not careless with my life or how I treat others.

I am so thankful for a second chance even if it comes with it's own set of struggles and daily headaches.