Have been trying to post the link below without success.
Thought it may prove useful to carers that it is ok to grieve for someone that has change due to bi.
The thing it doesn't go on to cover is that as a bi survivor you can also grieve for the loss of the person you once was.
If anyone can post the link below more successfully please do so.
Pax
Hello Pax
Thank you for this post. I knew that there was something bothering me since my BI and if I reflect this is exactly what it is. Grief. I work for a bereavement charity P/T so I am kicking myself that I did not pick up on this. Still I am probably to some degree also in denial (also a trait of loss) and I will freely admit I actually get some pleasure concerning my anger with this. It is quite wierd really because as hard as I try to look at the positives i.e could've died and didn't, although did come very close to it, also there are truly a lot of people who have not recovered as well as I have - I am still angry. But most of all I do feel a deep sadness - I genuineley miss the old me. (That includes being an ace speller - genuineley??? What? That word is not right or is it? Heck too tired to work it out and at the end of the day does it really matter?)
I have given this some thought. I have thought that as we get older our faculties and skills do decrease or sometimes completely leave us. So we are all not the same person we once were. But this process usually comes at a gentler pace than wham bam overnight you have become an almost different person and it is as if your mental functioning has aged by twenty years or so overnight. Bugger - it sucks! So what I am saying I think is perhaps I am in a little bit of shock as well.
That thinking process has wiped me out so off to bed now. Might dream my way out of this - I should be so lucky. One can live in hope.........
Thx Pax. Clare x
It is strange that we feel we should only be grateful we survived. If you are not the person you was then you are allowed to grieve the loss of that person.
I have come across people telling me " we all alter as we get older" sinario. Yes we do alter we become a variation of ourselves. A bi can completely change who you are.....Sometimes for the better sometimes not.
Acceptance is the first and hardest step....But one we all must take.
Pax x
How true Pax ! The grieving is surely inevitable for those who've lost the loved one they knew, and now live with a comparative stranger. And also for those of us directly affectd by brain injury who, no matter how we advise against it, can't help lamenting our former life and abilities.
Good to see it formally recognised. xx
It does add to the struggle when you don't realise you are grieving as well.
My wife always thought it felt like she was cheating on me and having an affair with the new me.....yep it mixed her up as well.
Then a counseller told her to grieve the loss of me. She said it felt strange at first but then it was like a release.
Pax
Brain injury and dementia links? 
Post-injury communication and environment 
Neuro-optometric rehabilitation - anyone tried it?
