Possible abi?

My daughter Lucy was diagnosed with bacterial meningitis at 10 days old, thankfully she recovered seemingly undamaged, she is now nearly 2 1/2 and I cant help thinking there is something not quite right with her, I try and explain it to people and they always say "its just normal 2 year old behaviour!" maybe it is maybe it isn't but something keeps niggling in the back of my mind. The one thing I find difficult to get my head around is the fact that she never had a brain scan, it pretty much felt like once the infection had gone we were sent on our way, no talk of possible after effects or anything. Lucy gets extremely angry at silly little things, to the point where she will bight herself. She gets easily frustrated at the silliest of things, I know all these things are normal in toddlers but they just seem very extreme, my other daughter was nothing like this!!!! anyone have any experience/knowledge of this?

9 Replies

  • No direct expriance,however as a mum myself.USE youre instincts! go back to youre G,P make a mum style fuss! and get her checked out as soon you can.

  • I don't have much faith in gp's!!! I may ask to be referred back to consultant at the hospital

  • Hi Lucy ; as Razy has said, follow your instincts as a mum and get your daughter checked out. GPs are often dismissive of symptoms/behaviour they don't understand.

    I would try writing directly to the consultant telling him your fears ; a consultant will always reply to you, and you can put your daughter's case most accurately. He may ask you to use the referral procedure anyway, but you'll have his letter to back you up when asking for the referral.

    Good luck with this Lucy ; I hope this turns out to be nothing more than the 'terrible twos' but you're right to insist on the ruling out of any underlying condition. Best wishes xx

  • No direct experience - but as a mum you know your child best.

    Hope you get a referral and it turns out to be nothing too serious. Children change as we all know as parents....

    good luck



  • Hi the terrible twos are indeed that although my son's hit at 3 ish- he liked a little bite of his hand for immediate attention and also throwing himself all over the floor to demonstrate his anger at not getting his way!

    Totally agree you know your child better than any one but remember at this stage of development they really have the brain of cave girls and boys and are not designed to be in complete control of themselves or their emotions until nearer 16.(which is why we don't let them vote?!!!) A long way off yet.

    Not sure a brain scan will give you the peace of mind you might seek and how traumatic this would be for Lucy herself at this point.

    I've talked to child psychologists through my work and my own health and gps about my son and the effect my condition has on him- advised that 'medicalising' his developing psychology may actually make life harder for him and that at least one loving parent trying to guide them through the minefield of modern life is enough. It sounds to me like you already have that covered and remember kids are like peas- no two are the same. Comparing drives you crazy- mine is a sensitive wee soul who cries at things his peers would scoff at but that's what makes him mine. He also could drive me to drink on other days if I let him!

    I found a book called superpowers for parents helpful which helps you talk to them at their level or ignore them depending on what situation it is. All mums have been through this although we prefer to tell the little angel stories to our friends- it's the other stories that will make you laugh when you look back no matter how tough it seems just now.

    Good luck x

  • Hi Lucy and welcome.

    Apart from the advice you have already got may I suggest ringing the Headway helpline.

    They may be able to give you info on another group who deal with children's brain injuries. Sorry but I can't for the life of me remember it's name.

    Love n hugs to you and your family


  • I would advise you to ring the Meningitis Now freephone helpline 0808 80 10 388 as they will be able to answer your questions more specifically about your daughter having BM and advise you if she should have further investigation. They are very helpful.

  • Try talking to these guys. childbraininjurytrust.org.uk/ very helpful and will either help put your mind at rest or point you at further help

  • Hi,

    I can understand your fears, and its natural that you notice extreme behaviours and compare them to your other daughters behaviour at that age. I can only confirm that my children were all extremely different in their behaviours while growing up (and even more so now!) . I also asked for assistance with extreme or diverse behaviours that I considered unlike the other children's. Biting is very common in toddlers, both biting themselves and others, but if it's causing you concern - why not contact your health visitor? Health Visitors are often a better bet than G.P. s for non urgent behavioural issues. They see a lot of children - their experience is very wide ranging. They are able to refer you to specialists / paediatric professionals and will liaise with your G.P.

    Your instinct as a mum should be taken very seriously - so if the health visitor is unable to shed light on your concerns, then it's essential to pursue assistance via your G.P. , or perhaps do both? What is it that you feel isn't quite right (other than the temper problems)? Please feel free to pm me.


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