HELP APPRECIATED

I am 18 months in after a brain aneurysm and feel I am nosediving into depression. Nothing but pills pills and more pills. I don't think the same. I don't remember the same. I cannot make any decisions. I cry at andything. Happy sad difficult. My emotions are right on the surface. I can't spell or write. I can't explain. I look the same. I talk - sometimes- the same. Famy insist I just need to do this. And need to do that and get on with normality. They fail to believe I have no normality how they used to know me. I have migraines everyday. I can't even go out alone now as my brain just blanks and can't even think where I'm going to. Hmmm. Doom and gloom at the moment but my moods yo yo up and down. I was an English teacher, a cbt counsellor, a pilot, and a total go getter in my past. Now I struggle to get up and feed myself. They fear I may have another aneurysm because of all the migraines again, so more MRI's. I have no counselling, no referrals for rehab. No help and I live alone with lots to run as usual in a life that had been full. To say nothing of a mortgage to pay. And bills of course! Any tips or encouragement, or something to help my grown up sons understand what's happened better would be very welcome. 😊💕 PS. I live in Reading Berks. Is anyone near enough for a cuppa or anyone prepared to have a chat on the phone sometime. I'm not a loony- honest. Just needing contact with others who understand. xxx

7 Replies

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  • Hi.

    I am very sorry to here off your current probems!! Can you access your local "Headyway" They would be able to offer you some much needed help/support. If are not sure please let me know & I will offer to help you. Everything that you need they will be able to help & assit you. Unfortunately the same happened to me it was like being ship wrecked. You feel so different after such a life changing event. I had to forget the old me & start afresh with the new me. This made things much better for me, once I found Headway here in Birmingham my life changed for ever. I found staff members who understood me!! There was also clients who were "Changed for Life" Not as though I wanted other people to go through my current plight. Yes I can talk to you if that would help?? We are now your new freinds so ask what you need to a we will try to help & support you.

    Please let me know if I can help??

    Try to keep "Positive" Remember we are here for you so come along and "jump in"

    I hope this helps??

    Steve.

  • I can't improve on, or add to, Steve's advice and support.

    The Headway helpline is 0800 800 2244 and is manned between 9am-5pm Mon-Fri. Please contact them. There will be someone there who will listen sympathetically and help you turn your life around.

    Best wishes to you Vicky. Cat x

  • Hi vicky.

    Its the same advice already given. You WILL accept this new you and adapt andimprove. I was tge same after my bi. Pepple on the outside find it hard to understand. I would advise contact with Headway for your family as well as yourself.

    Welcome and battle on Pax x

  • 1st its still early days, 6 months?

    Even as someone who has fairly minor differnces I've had to accept that V2 isn't the same has a far nastier temper! even now 19 months on I still find I'm learning the differences only plus is no longer get car/sea sick.

    Headway really helped me, and I hope/suspect they could help you.

  • Everyone has given great advice in first steps! I love this place 😊

    Headway do booklets and sheets you can print off for your family, friends and workplace so that everyone knows what to expect. It takes away the fear of being mis understood, not being believed and for you not feeling like a loony 😔😱

    No one can say how long it will be to settle into the new you. We have all been left with niggles, deficits, on going life long issues. It's quite a daunting prospect in the early days, and you are still in the early days.

    Don't be surprised in new niggles showing up once you have leaned to work with/ around/recover from existing ones.

    I think I must have been Wonder Woman prior to my injury, I just can't understand how I managed to juggle so many things in my life in my old life.

    I sit reading diaries, looking at photographs and reading my appointment diary.

    It makes me question if I was actually defying the laws of physics and time!

    It took me quite a long time to discover and grieve over my lost knowledge and abilities. It took me years to accept the new me because I was determined to prove everyone wrong and carry on as normal. I was the last person to realise that I was so different.

    Take the first steps of contacting headway and enjoy the help, information and companionship on offer. I turned into a hermit avoiding everyone through my fear of saying or doing something stupid. Please do not hide away, the folk at headway can help you through your difficulties and they understand.

    They also gave me new skills and helped me get back to working, not by finding work but by giving me the self belief that I could do something worthwhile with my life now that I was no longer allowed to work in air traffic.

    I hope you find these replies useful

    Sorry I ramble a lot these days!

  • Hi

    I had a brain haemorrhage nearly 30 years ago and I am still learning new ways to cope, finding different groups to talk to and trying to accept how my life has changed.

    There are people out there who can help, counsellers, community brain injury team (I really found they have helped me in so many ways), cbt, mindfulness and so much more but it takes time to find out and make these contacts. Please message me if you think I can help at all

    You are not alone

  • Hi Vicky

    You can ask your GP for counselling on the NHS. It may take a while for the referral to come through.

    Daily headache is something that you can ask to be investigated further. See if there is a neurologist near you with an interest in it (they usually list their interests on their hospital website) and if not, there will be someone at the National Hospital for Neurology and Neurosurgery inQueens Square in London and you can ask your GP to refr you there.

    You feel like your life is over....well I guess it is, really, but the good news is, your new life has also begun. It is going to be different from the old one, but you will find there are blessings there as well as challenges. The secret is to live within it, not to try and still live the old one, because the old one doesn't fit you any more. You need help to grieve and to adjust, and if you can get support from Headway or similar you will find a way through.

    Vry best wishes

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