Depression or something else

[thrillseeker]

Hi lady's and gentlemen and young adults I have been on medication for a number of years eight years + the thing is I am on medication because of an accident that happened when I was four having to learn to walk and talk after the accident I went through teenage life with anger attitude and disliking of been told what to do I am not happy never have been and the doctors say it's just depression but on a good day why would I go to see the gp ? And on a bad day I don't go to see gp any ways what with my mind doing over time and the added stresses of my daily life I am not moaning that I am feeling sad and low I am just sick of been on medicatin I want a normal life and be able to do things like hold a conversation with people I don't know I stumble with my words so when or if people try talking I tend to just shrug my shoulders or say nothing it's not easy telling your gp what's going on in my head or what I see hear because I am scared of been thrown in a lonely place yes I do have an auntie that's a little loopy but that's never spoke of well not with the other part of the family I just let it out not having that filter that people have said after a brain injury person has is some what good but also some what annoying because I have had family members fall out with me not talking and also if am seen they try hiding but that don't bother me the bit that does is the doctor says it's just depression am now on 200mg of sertraline and 25mg of amityiptalin for nerve pain I feel like my life is worthless and pointless I am only here because of my kids they need me everything else can go for me thanks for reading

[Kirk5w7]

Hi Thrillseeker and welcome.

Just getting it all out on here can help immensely but sounds to me like you need to see your gp and ask for a referral to Neuropschologist, that person can help you to work through any issues that have been caused by your brain injury, just medicating you for depression is no way out for you.

Because your accident was so long ago while you were so young I'm afraid you may have fallen through normal follow-up, as you have grown into an adult other problems will have become apparent.

Speak to the Headway helpline, I never did make a note of their number but you'll find it on the website, and they'll help point you in the right direction.

Good luck, Janet xxxxx

[cat3]

I too find the lack of word recall and the isolation it can cause really upsetting at times. I always used to enjoy the challenges of conversation and banter but now, like you, I find it easier to simply keep myself to myself.

But regarding medication, I need essential drugs just to survive but my attitude is that if none-essential meds significantly prolong and/or improve your quality of life then I'm all for them.

I'm wondering for how long you've been taking the Sertraline as, initially, they can take several weeks to 'kick in' and, until they do, your depression symptoms can feel much worse.

But please don't judge your GPs reaction by events of the past, where the effects of your head injuries are concerned. My father was often hospitalised with depression when I was a teenager and given electro-convulsive therapy, whereas I have received drug treatment, counselling and CBT over the years.

If you feel unhappy about taking medication, and not 100% trusting of your GP, maybe you could ask for a referral to a neuropsychologist who would be more inclined to view your moods as symptoms of your injuries rather than psychiatric.

Cat x

[sporan]

Hi thrillseeker,

I can very much identify with your feeling although, thankfully, I've only been exposed them for the last three years.

As suggested by Janet I would pressure your GP for a referral to a neuropsychologist, I've just started seeing one for rehab, they are trained specifically yo deal with cognitive and mood issues directly caused by BI so they are better able to understand and advise you.

Hoping things soon improve for you

Geoff

[Hidden]

Thanks all, that reminds me: I want referral to neuropsychologist but no docs seem to believe anything I tell them and refuse to be my GP. Can you self-refer I wonder, if not why not? But although I'm beginning to get more understanding of where my difficulties lie I don't know if a neuropsychologist would see them or whether they'd show in tests which are so far removed from real life?

I asked my GP right at start for referral to Clinical Psychologist because I thought that's who you went to for tests on brain coz I knew my brain was damaged but that referral got diverted to counsellors - and they refused to even help with how terrible I was feeling because of being lied to, my experience and knowledge denied = they did the same, I think, they DUMPED me after 2 long 'assessments. I felt so blank when I left the second time, felt completely abandoned, was.

Then they sent a 'report' to my GP which didn't say what I said, used silly computer tests instead of MY words and NO WAY I'd have OK'd that going to my GP and even then though it said anxiety and depression high he didn't help at all and ALL of them KNEW/HEARD WHY I felt so bad.

At that time though I had BIG trouble (still do but bit less) trying to explain the things which are so hard to do now. I did try very hard with GP though, especially at start (when speech even worse and tongue couldn't articulate as well as now = he MUST have heard). Oops, tired and am getting scrambled now. not sure what I'm trying to say. Oh yes, I need someone (must be a doc apparently) to BELIEVE me and HELP me show what I have difficulty doing. Tried so long and failed = must give up now?